Grieving my family

[Roseytint]

I've recently hit an existential  crisis and all my losses just came flooding back at me. For one I am just now processing the loss of my beautiful family when i was younger. My parents got a fucking messy divorce and so much tragedy broke out in our household because of it. I am shattered just thinking about it, and i have no one who understands the pain and loss I'm going through. I just spoke with a friend last night and he asked me why am i holding on to this, and im like wtf, i'm not choosing to hold onto it. It all just hurts so much and it's worse because no one see me and validates my feelings. I just want someone who knows what I'm going through to say i'm so sorry you had to go through that, and it's okay to feel this way. Can someone here tell me that?

[TLN]

Dear Roseytint, I am sorry for the loss of your family and the suffering that you have endured because of the divorce of your parents. Divorce is a tragedy, I think, every time. No one wins. Grief is difficult enough without having to go through it alone. I can empathize with you there.

How old are you? And what do you mean by "existential crisis"? TLN.

[reader]

Dear Roseytint,

I hear you, my friend. I'm so sorry for the pain you are feeling about your parents' divorce.  I am sorry that you had to go through that and it is very painful. Take your time to work through your feelings. I know it's hard when friends and family can't be more sensitive and show more support. Please know you are not alone. I hope this article is helpful.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/the-teenage-mind/201110/divorce-hurts-children-even-grown-ones

[crudebliss]

Sometimes it's difficult to understand divorce but from personal experience, I know that my mum and dad lived a very seperate life and were miles apart mentally, but just had to 'act' married due to traditions and basically coz they had me. You are lucky I guess that your parents are deciding to part and live seperately but happily. If you really love them, respect their decision and also try to see that it may be difficult, but the more difficult part would be to 'act' for years and not have the spark between them for years and exist as monolithic emotional zombies. I hope I am not worsening your status, but I wish you see the whole picture... If you just step back and see it from a distance, somewhere love was not kindred and it faded away, the lesson should be, 'what must I do to keep it in my life, so that I don't have to go thorough it for myself and or my children.' and let them also feel free and not regret their decision because of you. 

 

I am assuming you are under 18, but see it like this, they both are choosing love in a way, since it's not between them, they are parting... So love wins again, you too; Go ahead and be love...

 

 

[Shantelly]

I too am grieving the loss of my family. I am a mother 38. Two kids 11 and 4. A home that meant so much. All gone in a flash. 50/50 custody and the sale of the family home, I am just now seeking help to process the trauma, its been 2yrs now. I really felt inside how you are feeling. It F'ing sucks and it is so unfair. I am sending you positive vibes and prayers for a happy future. Love yourself, be kind to yourself.

[reader]

Dear Shantelly,

Thank you for sharing and your for kind and encouraging words. x

[JamieG12]

Hi, I’m writing this because lately I have been feeling angry at my deceased boyfriend. A few days before his passing, I got a phone call from another female telling me that he had been cheating on me. I informed him about this and he admitted it happen and he was extremely sorry and I ended up taking him back. Unfortunately, a few days later he passed and I haven’t really had the time to accept the cheating because of dealing with grief. Now all of it is bothering me in one because how am I supposed to grieve properly if he also cheated on me? I’ve been so angry with him and started to feel resentment! I don’t want to feel this way because we did make up but it hurts so much