Please help

[Afee]

Hi everyone,

This is my first post and I am still figuring out how this site works. I lost my dad suddenly to a blood clot last year in January. Since then, I’ve had major anxiety about the safety and health of my mother. She is young (56) and is healthy. She now lives alone as my sister and I (both in our 20s) live on our own. Anytime she doesn’t answer the phone (or says she isn’t feeling well, is late to something etc) I get almost sick to my stomach. I definitely go overboard and try to call multiple times, show up to her house late at night or have friends call her just to make sure she’s okay. I know she can function on her own, as she still goes to work everyday and has nights out with friends. I just can’t seem to shake this anxiety that comes over me when I don’t hear from her. Anyone else going through this? It is starting to take over my life as I have almost left work to go check on her when it takes her long to answer a text. 

[Monty]

Hi Afee,

I remember feeling anxious for my Dad’s safety after my Mum passed and my sister did too. My sister’s anxiety was so bad that she moved in with my Dad for 6 months (whilst paying rent on another property) because that is what she needed at the time. My Dad was unwell so I was often anxious when he did not answer a text or answer his phone and would imagine the worst. It got to the point where I had to say to him “Just send me a smiley face when I send you text so I know you are ok”. That made me feel better.

It is not uncommon to feel anxious after the loss of a loved one. I have been having panic attacks after losing my Dad last year. I worry that something will happen to my siblings, my kids or my partner. I don’t think I could handle it.

Perhaps seeking professional help with your anxiety may help. Sometimes just an external person to talk to makes a big difference. 
 

Take care.