Dad's Cancer Journey

[LM20]

2020 was supposed to be a great year for everyone, it was all anyone could talk about in 2019. At the start, it did seem to be okay and things were looking up. Until January 13 when I received a phone call that dad had fallen in his bathroom......(I remember so vividly how that night played out. I had made dinner and was starting a Netflix show I had put on hold for awhile. Then the phone rang and I thought 'why is dad calling?' it wasn't like him to call). I stared at the wall as I was told how the fall happened, how dad was rushed to one of the local hospitals, how the ER doctor found a mass on dad's brain after doing a CAT scan. Once I got off the phone I immediately called my mom and just sobbed. I could barely get out what I had just been told. She told me she was on her way to my apartment. As I waited, I texted my best friend and cried some more. I put my dinner in the fridge (spaghetti) along with the leftovers. I did the dishes and cried. I sat on the floor and cried. Then mom got there..... I cried in her arms. Later that night we found out that dad would be taken to a University hospital about an hour and a half away. We were going to go down but then it started to snow so we waited until morning. 
The next day that drive felt like DAYS. I've made that drive countless times in the past for other things. It's a quick and easy trip. But not that time. When I finally saw dad I immediately started to tear up but held them back because I didn't want him to see me like that. I sat with him and he looked and sounded fine. He was hooked up to and EKG and was making fun of that. He was adding humor to the situation to make light of what was to come. We learned later on in the day that dad would need brain surgery to get rid of the mass. It took up 1/4 of his brain on the left side. I had to sign the surgery papers for him as next of kin. I could barely write my signature. 
I'm not sure what I was expecting to happen....no- actually I do. I expected he would have the surgery and he would come out just fine. Everything would be okay and dad would be on the road to recovery and be just fine in short few months. But it wasn't like that. Dad had the surgery several days later and then it was such a bumpy road the following weeks. He couldn't talk right away when he came out of surgery, so looped up on medications to keep seizures from happening. When he finally was able to start talking again, he would get his words mixed up or would forget what he was talking about. It was hard seeing him like that. He was at the university hospital for a long time..... about 3 weeks I think. I was down there every weekend to be with him. I called the hospital floor he was on daily to check on him. When he was finally able to come home and go to a rehab nursing home it felt like things were finally moving forward. And for awhile they were. Dad eventually got his speech back and ducks in a row. One night after work I stayed for about 2 hours while I listened to him tell stories. I had heard them all before in the past but it was just so good to hear them again and to see him so animated. 
This post is already so long and who knows if anyone will even read this.... if you do, thanks. Maybe in another post I'll talk more about dad's journey. 

Thanks for reading. XO

[BEQUET93]

Thank you for sharing about your father. What you wrote about expecting that all would be well after the surgery is something I am sure many of us have done. When my father was diagnosed with bone cancer, the doctor said he could live for another 4-40 years. I immediately assumed it would be 40 years and thought there was nothing more to worry about. With my mother, I thought that, as hospice wasn't started as soon as she left the hospital, there was hope for at least a year. 

If you want to share more, I feel positive that people will read it and know your family's story. It can help to just externalize thoughts and feelings. Your devotion to your father is apparent in what you wrote. You and your family have my condolences for your great loss.

[Jacx]

When my Dad was getting Chemo and whatnot for his cancer he also had language issues, at first they were small but around 4 months in it was apparent something was off. I do speech therapy for a living, so maybe it just seemed more pronounced to me than it was...
Anyway
I’m so glad you got to hear those stories again, my Dad’s stories will always be my favorites. If you’re interested please share some, Stories are the best.

[sadlaura]

On 11/22/2020 at 11:10 PM, LM20 said:

2020 was supposed to be a great year for everyone, it was all anyone could talk about in 2019. At the start, it did seem to be okay and things were looking up. Until January 13 when I received a phone call that dad had fallen in his bathroom......(I remember so vividly how that night played out. I had made dinner and was starting a Netflix show I had put on hold for awhile. Then the phone rang and I thought 'why is dad calling?' it wasn't like him to call). I stared at the wall as I was told how the fall happened, how dad was rushed to one of the local hospitals, how the ER doctor found a mass on dad's brain after doing a CAT scan. Once I got off the phone I immediately called my mom and just sobbed. I could barely get out what I had just been told. She told me she was on her way to my apartment. As I waited, I texted my best friend and cried some more. I put my dinner in the fridge (spaghetti) along with the leftovers. I did the dishes and cried. I sat on the floor and cried. Then mom got there..... I cried in her arms. Later that night we found out that dad would be taken to a University hospital about an hour and a half away. We were going to go down but then it started to snow so we waited until morning. 
The next day that drive felt like DAYS. I've made that drive countless times in the past for other things. It's a quick and easy trip. But not that time. When I finally saw dad I immediately started to tear up but held them back because I didn't want him to see me like that. I sat with him and he looked and sounded fine. He was hooked up to and EKG and was making fun of that. He was adding humor to the situation to make light of what was to come. We learned later on in the day that dad would need brain surgery to get rid of the mass. It took up 1/4 of his brain on the left side. I had to sign the surgery papers for him as next of kin. I could barely write my signature. 
I'm not sure what I was expecting to happen....no- actually I do. I expected he would have the surgery and he would come out just fine. Everything would be okay and dad would be on the road to recovery and be just fine in short few months. But it wasn't like that. Dad had the surgery several days later and then it was such a bumpy road the following weeks. He couldn't talk right away when he came out of surgery, so looped up on medications to keep seizures from happening. When he finally was able to start talking again, he would get his words mixed up or would forget what he was talking about. It was hard seeing him like that. He was at the university hospital for a long time..... about 3 weeks I think. I was down there every weekend to be with him. I called the hospital floor he was on daily to check on him. When he was finally able to come home and go to a rehab nursing home it felt like things were finally moving forward. And for awhile they were. Dad eventually got his speech back and ducks in a row. One night after work I stayed for about 2 hours while I listened to him tell stories. I had heard them all before in the past but it was just so good to hear them again and to see him so animated. 
This post is already so long and who knows if anyone will even read this.... if you do, thanks. Maybe in another post I'll talk more about dad's journey. 

Thanks for reading. XO

Hi LM20, I read your story and it is making me tear up thinking about my dad's story and how quickly everything went for him. He was diagnosed with cancer in 2009, had surgery and was fine for about a year and a half. In May 2011 his cancer recurred but he decided that he would not do conventional treatment (no chemo, no radiation). He was basically okay until this year when he began losing weight very rapidly. None of his doctors acknowledged it or tried to treat him. He became very ill on September 21 and we took him to the hospital. They suspected sepsis and COVID. Even when his COVID test came back negative two doctors suspected COVID. I pulled him out of the hospital 48 hours after he was admitted and brought him home with hospice. He became weaker and weaker until in his last week he could not walk, couldn't move very much and could only talk with extreme effort and even then would only say a few words. It is extremely sad to think about. But I think it's important to tell these stories. I am telling just an abbreviated version of mine because it just makes me too sad and I am already tearing up.

But what I wanted to say is that I did read your story. It did not seem too long to me and I am interested to find out the rest. I hope that you will come back and tell us what happened after that. We are here with you and care about even if it does sometimes take us a while to respond.

[LM20]

Hi, thank you for sharing your story. I think it truly helps to hear others stories as it shows that we aren’t alone in this. You know? Sometimes you can just feel so alone and like no one else will understand how you’re feeling. 
I’m so happy to have found this site and amazing support so far even though I just signed up a few days ago. I will be back with more stories on Dad’s journey as writing it out has helped so much. 
Thanks again for sharing and I’m so sorry to hear that your father had to go through all that. It isn’t fair. I’m sure great memories were made throughout his journey that you will always remember. It’s always the smallest things that make the best ones. 
I hope you had a great Thanksgiving. Stay safe out there! ♥️

[LM20]

On 11/25/2020 at 12:02 AM, Jacx said:

When my Dad was getting Chemo and whatnot for his cancer he also had language issues, at first they were small but around 4 months in it was apparent something was off. I do speech therapy for a living, so maybe it just seemed more pronounced to me than it was...
Anyway
I’m so glad you got to hear those stories again, my Dad’s stories will always be my favorites. If you’re interested please share some, Stories are the best.

Yes, at first it was a bit strange and alarming but once the nurse staff explained it was due to surgery it eased the stress a bit. But that first night when he was able to tell those stories again I was hopeful. 
So sorry to hear your dad went through something similar. 
I will for sure be back with more. Maybe next week I’ll sit down and share some. 
I hope you had a great Thanksgiving! Stay safe. ♥️

On 11/22/2020 at 11:53 PM, BEQUET93 said:

Thank you for sharing about your father. What you wrote about expecting that all would be well after the surgery is something I am sure many of us have done. When my father was diagnosed with bone cancer, the doctor said he could live for another 4-40 years. I immediately assumed it would be 40 years and thought there was nothing more to worry about. With my mother, I thought that, as hospice wasn't started as soon as she left the hospital, there was hope for at least a year. 

If you want to share more, I feel positive that people will read it and know your family's story. It can help to just externalize thoughts and feelings. Your devotion to your father is apparent in what you wrote. You and your family have my condolences for your great loss.

Ugh, I’m so sorry to hear that your parents had to go through something like that! It truly isn’t fair at all that cancer is a thing. It’s just awful. :(. I hope you were able to make beautiful memories with both of them. 
Thank you for responding and reading the post. I wasn’t sure if anyone would as there seems to be many stories on here. Thanks for choosing mine. I will be back with more as there’s much to tell and it helps to write it all down. 
I hope you had a great Thanksgiving. Stay safe! ♥️