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I lost my soulmate on Monday


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Jazz100

I am overwhelmed with grief that I don’t know what to do. My beautiful dog died on Monday. It was all very quick. One minute he was fine and the next he wasn’t. It was a brain tumour that comes on rapidly. He would have been 13 in February. I have a family but their days are busy but my world revolved round my dog. I’ve never had a dog that has loved me so much and he was like my shadow. I keep thinking of how awful it was at the end and the thought of him not being here with me again is so hard to accept. My heart is broken.

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KayC

I am so sorry.  I, too, called my Arlie my soulmate in a dog, he really was everything to me, my perfect beautiful dog.  Always smiling.  He was diagnosed with inoperable cancer, living shutting down, nothing they could do.  I provided hospice, had him on CBD oil and supplements for his liver and mood, I did everything I could to make his last days (two months, ten days) as well as possible but he suffered.  Still he smiled a lot.  I loved him more than anything in the world.  It's been over a year, I love and miss him each and every day of my life.  I'm old now but of all my dogs, he was my favorite I've ever had, and that says a lot.

I hope this video brings you some comfort and peace.

 

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Collettesweetbear

Hi Jazz100,
I’m so very sorry about your sweet doggie. My baby scooter was 17 when she passed on January 28, 2020 so, about 9 months ago. I grieved all these 9 months. It was only me and her for the 17 most happiest times in my life. I loved her as my own little baby girl. If I had been working at that time, I can surly say I would have been let go because I wouldn’t be able to function. My son and family all live in the east coast so, it’s just been me and scooter. And, honestly I was happy as a clam. My other family members (referring to my parents, brothers and sisters) are all in different states as well. Scooter would come to the sofa and jump on my chest every night for 17 years. I only had to board her once, my career was engineer, oil and gas and I had to take a trip out of town for a week. I was dying on my whole trip not being with her. I never had to leave her again. At night she jumped on my chest and I took the covers and pulled it up on both of us and we slept just like that all night. She got to a point she couldn’t jump on the sofa so, I would pick her up. The last 4 years she couldn’t jump on my bed it’s too high, so I slept on the sofa to be more stable for her. It’s been 9 months and I’m still sleeping on the couch. I can’t bring myself to go sleep on the bed. I know you understand when I say this is the hardest most unbearable thing that has ever happened to me. I’ve had relatives pass away that I loved and sure I would cry for a week or so, but this!! Nothing compares to this grief and pain that I felt like was going to do me in. For months and months I would cry for hours at a time. I’ve gotten a bit better. The crying just as painful but, very short lived now. However, I wake myself up, I was crying in my sleep for her. I’ve gone up and down so many times. But, Listen Jazz, you loved him and still do. He loved you and still does. Love never dies. All the love you and he shared was Hugh!! Now he is apart of you and lives in your heart with all the love is there. I know scooter is always going to be close to me as I carry her with me forever. I put my hand over my heart and asked her if it would be ok for me to get another one day and I felt she said yes. I even hold my heart and talk to her. She is with me forever. I didn’t realize how much I talked to scooter as the silence tells the story. I must have talked to her constantly. But, now I put my hand on my heart and still talk to her a little letting her know she’s safe with me now. Scooter is probably upset that I am suffering for 9 months now. I can just hear her now saying “I gave you 17 years of pure love and happiness and you’re left like this pain and crying everyday?” Would she say that if she could talk, absolutely. I turned the tables and thought if things were reversed and I had died and scooter still here grieving, in the worse suffering pain, I guess I would be very very sad and upset that I gave her so much love and all she takes from this is suffering? No I would not want that for her, of course not. Of course yes, you must go through the grieving process of loss but, there is also that strong love still exists today and forever.


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Jazz100

Thank you so much for replying to me.  KayC the rainbow bridge video is just beautiful.

collettesweetbear - thank you I keep reading your message - my boy, Denver, could no longer get upstairs and I had been sleeping on the sofa with him for the past year. Now I take his ashes up to bed with me but I only sleep for a few hours then we go back down to the sofa where I feel closer to him. And you are so right, the love will last forever. I’ve had so much sympathy from family and friends but the story of your loss has really helped me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

797BE134-E171-477B-8F3A-91B0F3A077DF.jpeg

5769685E-7F11-4307-8EBD-DCDFDBCAFB3C.jpeg

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Jazz100
3 minutes ago, Jazz100 said:

Thank you so much for replying to me.  KayC the rainbow bridge video is just beautiful.

collettesweetbear - thank you I keep reading your message - my boy, Denver, could no longer get upstairs and I had been sleeping on the sofa with him for the past year. Now I take his ashes up to bed with me but I only sleep for a few hours then we go back down to the sofa where I feel closer to him. And you are so right, the love will last forever. I’ve had so much sympathy from family and friends but the story of your loss has really helped me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

797BE134-E171-477B-8F3A-91B0F3A077DF.jpeg

5769685E-7F11-4307-8EBD-DCDFDBCAFB3C.jpeg

Me and my boy 

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KayC
14 minutes ago, Jazz100 said:

my boy, Denver, could no longer get upstairs and I had been sleeping on the sofa with him for the past year.

He is beautiful.  I love your devotion to him.  We are the ones who truly love/d our animals, here, and it shows.  No wonder our loss is so great.

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Collettesweetbear

You’re boy Denver is so sweet. The lovely kind eyes. Oh, yes I can totally see the love! Scooter is the only pet I’ve had so far. I had no clue or even close that this was going to be so painful. Also, I have life long depression so, she was also my comfort pet. Having scooter not only did I consider her my baby girl, but the peace and soothing comfort she gave me was 100 times better then any of my meds for depression/anxiety. I really need another comfort pet, but I don’t know if I can do it again. Losing scooter almost did me in, no kidding. I had a broken heart in pieces but, I had to rebuild my heart back to whole because she and all the love we have for each other lives there now. I really feel better and closer to her now. She can come with me wherever I go. And, Denver with you.


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AJWCat

I am so sorry to read about Denver, what a sweet boy. Hang in there. Grief is a long a winding process. Some days will be better than others.

I still grieve for my act who we lost very suddenly over 3 years ago. You will get to a place of peace I promise. But it does take time.  

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Collettesweetbear
I am so sorry to read about Denver, what a sweet boy. Hang in there. Grief is a long a winding process. Some days will be better than others.
I still grieve for my act who we lost very suddenly over 3 years ago. You will get to a place of peace I promise. But it does take time.  


AJWCat,

I’m so sorry about your sweet kitty cat you lost 3 years ago. I sometimes see you write about your baby kitty cat. You know where I stand with baby scooter. Nine months in and still I break down with that same intense horrible, can’t function grief. Are you ok 3 years later or do you still have breakdowns like me now? I’m so scared I’m stuck like this forever.


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