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Lady Di

He died in my arms last night

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Lady Di

His name was Barron, a Belgium Long Haired German Shepard who came into my family's life, like a welcoming wind in a hot desert.  He tolerated for 14 years my children's torture with glee..(dress-up, baby and Barron bath time, pony-time, naps on the couch, sharing potato chips, swimming at the beach and even taught my son how to drink out of the toilet...!)  He was in every family Christmas card, he cried and growled when my daughter went on her 1st date and was inconsolable when she left for college. My sons are Marines and taught him how to protect the family.  My father died 4 years ago (molested me) not one tear, holding Barron in my arms when he took his last breath last night was like the world had come to an end for me..Baron cried for me, looked at me with foggy eyes, exhaled and he closed his eyes and he was gone.  I threw-up.

Someone help me

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Lady Di

It's late, the house is quiet the only sound above is the fan, crickets scream and the bees are sleeping in the field outside my window flourished with sunflowers.  All seems right in the world...but NO, I can't breath, I am becoming dehydrated with tears, he is gone..I can't find him under my desk annoyingly licking my salty legs..but it felt shamelessly good, without him next to me now in my office here tonight I look into the sky and talk to him..I say Thanky You, my beautiful babysitter, and son. I'm not a crazy-cat lady or a PETA freak, it's just the death of a beloved family member that happens to be a dog is gut wrenching, I whispered in his ear I will see you in Heaven..at that moment he died...

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Lady Di

I know I am not proficient with the internet but no-one talks to each other anymore...? Why am I telling strangers on the internet my excruciating pain? Because like confession it feels good.

Barron found me in the snow onetime. ...etc . Whats the use when no one cares..

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KayC

Hi, I'm so sorry for your loss.  I am not on the computer at night, I usually come here early in the day.  I lost my sweet Arlie (dog) nearly a yiear ago and I still feel great pain at missing him, no one will ever replace him, it sounds like you feel much the same.  We went through everything together. 

It is not surprising to me that you feel your world turned upside down whereas not a tear at your "father" especially under the circumstances.  I know everyone's loss is unique but Arlie was my world, my family, my loyal companion and honestly I feel they are God's greatest gift to us, I just wish they could live longer.  I used to say "Every day with Arlie is a good day!" and I truly mean that, I called him "my soulmate in a dog."

I hope you will think of a way to memorialize him, I think it helps some as a way to direct our energy towards something positive.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/animal-attachment/201703/my-pet-died-and-i-cant-stop-cryinghttps://www.griefhealingblog.com/2012/10/a-bill-of-rights-for-grieving-animal.html
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2010/09/is-pet-loss-comparable-to-loss-of-loved.html
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2013/03/memorializing-pets-we-have-lost.html
http://www.griefhealing.com/memorializing.htm

I hope you find comfort in this video:

 

 

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