Members Kloe Posted June 28, 2020 Members Report Share Posted June 28, 2020 I just lost my best friend and most precious thing in the world to me last night. His name is Bullet, we got him around 4 years ago. He is a chihuahua and he got his name because when we first got him we joked that he was as fast as a bullet cause he ran all around the house. He was my first real pet who I was in charge of taking care of and he was supposed to come and live with me after I moved out. His death has come very unexpectedly. The beginning of this week he wasn’t acting right so we took him to the vet Wednesday. The vet sent him home after one night on fluids and we hoped he would get better. That night though he only got worst so we took him back as an emergency and brought him home again with pain meds. We brought him back the next morning and little did I know as I handed him over to the vet that it would be the last time I would hold him or see him again. He died that night alone in some cage from kidney problems, most likely a defect he had since he was born. Bullet was the only reason I would get out of bed most days. I struggle with anxiety and depression and on my lowest days he was always there to love me and support me. I am going into my senior year of high school and without him I have no idea how I will manage my stress and anxiety. The thought of not seeing him all excited when I come home or feeling his soft ears at night when my thoughts start becoming overwhelming. I feel so guilty because I promised him the last night we had him home that I would never leave him and then I just hand him over to the vet and walk away from him like I am abandoning him. I should have been with him in his last moments, when he was in pain just like he was always there for me when I was suffering. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members I love my Basset Hound Posted June 28, 2020 Members Report Share Posted June 28, 2020 I know exactly how you feel. Exact same thing happen with my baby honey who I’ve been blessed with for 12 1/2 years. She stayed overnight in the vet and was promised to come home next day because she is improving but that night she went to heaven. I can’t stop thinking bout our last walk, last car ride, last time I held her in my arms not knowing that would be my last. The mass in her stomach ruptured and I was there. It does kill me to think that why did I abandon her but I really thought the vet would help and I wish I had her home so I could be with her. It’s been exactly 36 days that she had pass and the pain is more intense as I realize she’s not coming back. It’s going to be a rough road ahead as I don’t see myself getting over this anytime soon. I’m sorry what your going through but bullet is in a better place with no pain. I know one thing for sure is that he would want u to enjoy your senior year and journey in life. It’s going to hard but live your life and do good for bullets sake. Make him proud and don’t let his passing stop you from doing great things. He will always be with you and trust me you will see him again at the rainbow bridge. God bless and take care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted June 28, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted June 28, 2020 I am so sorry for your loss, him being your companion dog and losing him, that's so tough, my Arlie was mine but unofficially, never got him licensed as such but I'd trained him and he was my perfect dog. I'm sorry you weren't able to be with him as he passed, if it's any consolation, sometimes animals pick the time when they die and often do when away from us without having to worry about us and our feelings. I felt the same when my husband died, they'd made me leave and he died within the hour. We're hardest on ourselves, even though not deserved and out of our control. Sending you thoughts of peace and comfort. http://www.griefhealingblog.com/2016/03/in-grief-coping-with-moment-of-death.html http://media.wix.com/ugd/0dd4a5_e934e7f92d104d31bcb334d6c6d63974.pdf http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml http://www.griefhealing.com/article-loss-and-the-burden-of-guilt.htm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members AJWCat Posted June 29, 2020 Members Report Share Posted June 29, 2020 I am so sorry for your loss. That is so young too. Not fair. You had no idea, please don't feel guilty, you were doing the best you could for him. Anyone else would have done exactly the same. Still it does not make the pain go away fast or easy. Take care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mary_Lena Posted July 27, 2020 Members Report Share Posted July 27, 2020 To Kloe ... I am sorry about Bullet. I lost my little dog of almost 15 years from kidney failure on July 1st. I too have some guilt about her last hours but it is easing just a bit. I knew her kidneys were failing and a decision would have to be made. I had planned it to be at home in surroundings she loved but she took a really bad turn for the worse at night and I had to take her in and it all got very rushed. Clearly not what I wanted or hoped for. I have cried some tears over those last couple of hours especially. I feel now more each day that no matter what you hope and what you plan for does not always work out no matter how you try. When we are in the middle of the stress of trying to care for our little true loves .. our brains are not always clear. It is overwhelming. I am certain Bullet knew he was loved and that you made the best decisions you could for him. I hope my little Sophia knows the same. She was a special girl. This grief stuff is hard. Please let me know how you are doing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted July 27, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted July 27, 2020 @Mary_Lena I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you'll read the articles I posted above, I've found them very helpful. I lost my soulmate in a dog, Arlie last August to cancer...I planned to put him to sleep peacefully but that's not how it went. They under-anesthetized him so that the fatal shot hurt him horribly and that vision is the last one I have in my mind of him, in excruciating pain. I can't forgive that, all because their scale was off several pounds. He was a large dog and I'd tried to keep him eating, coaxing him with things he liked, so I really had no idea of his weight, turns out he actually gained weight instead of lost it the last 2 1/2 months on his cancer journey. We can't change what happened, only realize they are not suffering now and we love and did our best for them. It brings me peace the thought of being with him again someday. I hope you will watch the Rainbow Bridge video I posted above. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mary_Lena Posted July 28, 2020 Members Report Share Posted July 28, 2020 The support of others through these painful days is absolutely crucial. Thank you so much for your kind thoughts. ML Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted July 28, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted July 28, 2020 You are so welcome! There should be some others along shortly, not sure where everyone is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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