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How to deal with this???


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Annie F

All of my family lives in Michigan but I live in Scotland.  So when my son got Covid-19 I was trapped. He was in ICU for a week before he died.  I can't hug his daughters or any of my family.  We can't have a service or a memorial.  I do have my husband here so otherwise I'd be a basket case. 

With the help of my wonderful family we made arrangements for cremation and will have a service when it's okay to travel and 5, 6, 7 months?  

I created a group on FB to upload photos and share memories which is nice.  But looking at photos is so very hard. He was my baby. My youngest. 

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Shannon4

I understand and I'm very sorry for your loss. I lost my mother Feb 25th 2020 and I haven't been able to have a celebration of life, no yard sale. I can't sell anything of her because no one is able to come out. This is a VERY hard time to be grieving. I feel like there are so many deaths that my mother got swept under the rug. Life moved on too fast for everyone else. Not knowing when this will be over is hard. I don't know if the bank will take her house before I can do what needs to be done. Attorneys are not working at this time. The courts are not open. I'm scared to order an urn because they come from China. Stupid I know. They never tested my mother for covid. They just brushed it off to age. She was originally in for losing blood and was in ICU. She went to the rehab and was fine. Then she couldn't breath. Then she died and it was like oh well. I have something called globulas hystericus. It's a lump in my throat thats not really there and it's from anxiety and pushing all my emotions down. I'm handing everything all by myself while my brothers and sisters sit back and wait for a check from my moms house. I have no way to mourn. I can't go to the beach and unwind. I'm single so there's no one to really talk to who understands. I'm going to deletemy account here because no one ever replys. I wanted to reply to you because you are here for a reason and don't deserve to be ignored.

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Annie F

Thanks Shannon.  What is the point of us being here if there are no conversations?  I keep hunting for a group online, but haven't been successful. My sympathies to you. 

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reader

Dear Annie and Shannon,

My deepest sympathies and condolences. I am very sorry for your loss. 

Please know there are people on this site but some are too shy to reply. 

For additional supports, I found these sites to be helpful.

Grief in Common

Grief Healing Blog

What's Your Grief

It is an extremely sad and challenging time. 

Thinking of you both.

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jwahlquist
On 4/13/2020 at 12:41 AM, Annie F said:

Thanks Shannon.  What is the point of us being here if there are no conversations?  I keep hunting for a group online, but haven't been successful. My sympathies to you. 

I think the loss boards here have more people that post regularly.  There are many of us on the loss of a spouse board.  I am sorry for the losses that you both suffered.   This whole lockdown issue has made life so much harder.  The grief associated with losing my husband is definitely hard to deal with when I can’t see or visit my friends.  

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foreverhis

@Annie F  Hi Annie.  Words can't begin to express how sorry I am that you lost your son to this horrible virus and that because of it, you can't be there for his family or them for you.

I urge you to post on the Loss of a Child forum here.  It's not just for parents of young children, but all parents, no matter the age of their precious child.  Those forums are far more active than this newer one. 

Though it's good to have a section specific to COVID-19, most members seem to gravitate to the forums specific to their losses and where they are probably already comfortable or familiar.

I am glad you are not completely alone in your grief, but that doesn't take the place of being able to hug and comfort the people we love.

Please don't give up on the forums here.  After I lost my beloved husband, I was floundering around for months.  When I joined here, the members in the spouse/partner loss forum were so welcoming and understood better than anyone in my life what I am going through now.

Stay well and safe.

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