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Tinalove

18 years of grief and loss.

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Tinalove

There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about the what ifs. It has been 18 yrs today that my son CJ passed at 5 days 23 hours and 10 minutes old. I had to make a choice to take him off of life support. When this all happened his father's grandparents and parents wouldn't allow me to grieve they said I should be happy that he is not suffering as if he was an adult that was terminally ill.  Every August I get extremely depressed and don't want to be around anyone or even go to work. To make matters worse my dad is really sick and not doing well. If anyone has a way to help me I would greatly appreciate it.  

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Auburnazd

I am so so sorry for your loss.  I’m even more sorry that you weren’t allowed to grieve.  My mom told me the same thing when I lost my father and my son when he was 38 weeks along.  I suffer from a lot of depression because I lost an aunt, two uncles, grandmother, and two other very very close friends in a matter of 6 years.  So I completely understand your pain.  I am happy to be a resource to vent to if you ever need it.

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reader

Dear Tina,

Please know you are not alone. It is so hard when those around us don't understand. I'm not sure if you want to consider talking to a grief counsellor or joining a support group in the community or through church. Please know you have all our support. I find these websites also helpful.

Grief in Common

What's Your Grief

Grief Share

Grief Healing Blog

They too offer additional resources. Thinking of you.

  • Hugs 1

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Auburnazd

I will definitely check out those websites.   Yes I have done grief counseling, rehab for marijuana that I was using to escape,  years of therapy, and am about to start DBT therapy.   Nothing has seemed to work.   I’m visiting my son and dads gravesits in Pennsylvania next week (I live in Alabama) and try to face some things I’ve avoided for a long time.  Thank you so much for your words and suggestions 

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