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C and D

My biggest fear is i truly believe you only have the ability to give your WHOLE self once in this lifetime. Your WHOLE body. Your WHOLE mind. Your WHOLE emotional spectrum.Your WHOLE spirit. Your WHOLE self in essence. Yes you may have a few loves in a lifetime. But, I truly believe you will only find one that you give your WHOLE self too if at all i bet at least half the people don’t even find them. Anyway i found them and gave my WHOLE self to her. I can’t take back what i’ve freely given. So i am terrified i blew it and gave it to the wrong person. A person that wasn’t worthy of 1/100 of my WHOLE self. i am afraid that if i do meet the one that is worthy i won’t have it to give anymore because i already gave it away. I will never love anyone that deeply again. i will have to settle for just love. It makes me sad i wasted such a gift. Because its all that i am.. and it now resides dormat in her memories that will fade.. and than where will my WHOLE self be? Nowhere .. Vanished..Lost in time. i hope it was worth it i am jealous of those kids way back in time where my WHOLE self was in the middle of full bloom. Goodbye me Goodbye one flesh. Take care of me D and don’t let me fade out to quickly. Thank you for accepting my WHOLE self. and nurturing him. Thank you for bringing him to the Lord and baptizing him. If you ever need me you don’t have to look any further than inside because you already have my WHOLE self. I’m there inside whenever you need. Take care of me.

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