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brothers death

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Please don't be so hard on yourself, nearly all of us experience these feelings in our early grief.  Treat yourself as you would a best friend, because that's what you are now that he's gone.  (((hugs)))
Most all of us go through all of the "what ifs" in early grief in an effort to find some different possible ending as the one that happened is unfathomable....only to find there really is only one outcome and that's the outcome that happened

I do hope these articles will aid you in getting through your guilt feelings...
Guilt and Regret in Grief
Grief and the Burden of Guilt
Guilt In the Wake of a Parent's Death

Address Guilt When Grieving
and this video is helpful as well:

 

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