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Shanda

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Too much loss for one persons lifetime..


ShandaPanda

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I am a 40 year old, single woman I have a sister that is two years older than me who is also my best friend.. In 1994 my sister was 13 years old. I was 11 years old and we lost our father in a car accident after he became a quadriplegic. On April 11, 2021 my ex husband (who I was still very close to) was murdered when shot by the neighbor over a pointless dispute.
 Our mother just unexpectedly and tragically died on October 8, 2022. we took her to dinner for her 71st birthday on October 2. After not hearing back from her for a few days I knew something was wrong, so we drove to her home.. the door was locked so I broke the living room window, crawled in and found her body on her bedroom floor, she had been deceased a for a few days, due to an unexpected Internal bleed in her GI track. I am suffering from severe depression and PTSD… Joined this site to get some grief support from other people, abs hopefully be able to help others if possible. 

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hello 
I just lost my dad 2 days ago, I can relate to you because I'm in another country and can't make it to be for my sister and my mom.
my dad was the center of my growth and I can't think of anything else that is not, he will never meet my kids. I have 5 miscarried and I'm 37 so I'm trying to have them ASAP and now it looks pointless 

 

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Christina2223

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in 2017 i went to visit my motherlike i always did and found her deceased. It was the worst thing ive ever experienced and i had terrible flash backs and felt so alone. Nobody could possibly understandor feel my pain. Then on 5/3/2022 i woke up and went to wake up my 23 year old son for work and found him deceased. Im just beside myself completelyheart broken and alone. I need help 

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Hi ShandaPanda,

Finding your beautiful mom deceased is something no one should ever have to go through. I truly am sorry that happened and for your loss.

Losing multiple people who were so important, valued and loved in your life must feel unsurvivable at times. I am  glad that you and your sister have each other to lean on and support each other. That's so important. 

Have you talked to your family doctor for your severe depression and PTSD? Have you thought about seeing someone who has experience helping people with grief/trauma? 

I just want to say, you're not alone in your grief and that there is help and support out there. But it can feel isolating at times, especially when other people don't want to talk about it or they seem to have 'moved on.'

I was put in touch with a support group after my mom died, that was run by our local hospital. Maybe you could contact your hopsital and ask what they have in terms of support. 

I lost my mom in September 2019 just before Covid hit. Hard to believe it will be the 4th anniversary this year. It's so hard. I really do feel for the heartbreak you are going through. 

I found podcasts on grief, watching Near Death Experiences on YouTube and spiritual things helpful during the first year of my grief. I also journal - one is for my mom and one is for me. I talk to her, in the journal for her. Updating her on things or just telling her how much I miss her.  

I hope this helps somehow and please reach out any time if you need to.

Sending a virtual hug ♡

Traz

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On 3/14/2023 at 1:15 PM, Christina2223 said:

in 2017 i went to visit my motherlike i always did and found her deceased. It was the worst thing ive ever experienced and i had terrible flash backs and felt so alone. Nobody could possibly understandor feel my pain. Then on 5/3/2022 i woke up and went to wake up my 23 year old son for work and found him deceased. Im just beside myself completelyheart broken and alone. I need help 

My heart and my prayers go out to you Christina. I hope you have found some help for the loss of your son. A grief no parent should ever have to bear. ♡ 

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