My daughter lost her brother (on her dads side)

[rebeccab]

I am looking to connect with moms or dads or anyone really that has a young child that is or has experienced a loss.  My daughters brother (on her dads side) passed away at the end of September.  He was 3 1/2 months old.  He was found face down in his pack n play.  My daughter thinks he was sick...I was trying to spare her the horrific details of his death.  She is currently in counseling and that works great for her because she is an open person and like to discuss things.  Her dad has never been super involved in her life.  We divorced when she was a little over one.  He is extremely detached now and I cant imagine the pain he is suffering due to losing his son. However, my daughter is suffering also.  Its like she is at an age when she realizes that he dad isn't there as much as she would like and I think she didn't start realizing it until she suffered the loss of her brother.   She does great for a period of time and then has a breakdown about her brother.  I sometimes get so lost in those moments and don't always know how to help her.  I just comfort her the best way I know how.  She is 6 and she understands the concept of death.  She knows he isn't coming back.  He was also cremated and I haven't told her that yet.  She wants to go to the cemetery and see "his stone with the letters".  I just keep telling her it isnt ready yet.  I don't really know how to explain that to her.  Has anyone out there been through something like this?