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I feel like a horrible human being.


Talyott

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Yesterday was my nieces 7th birthday. And I was happy for my niece, don't get me wrong, but it was one of the worst days I've had a long time. I even drank. (I'm trying to get sober.) I was so bitter and so depressed. Everybody gets to get holder, and my son doesnt. Everybody's celebrating the fact that they lived another year, and he doesn't get to. She's getting older, he'll always be 9. I kept trying to shake it off and focus on her but I just kept thinking about him. I wasn't this way last year but, I was still in denial last year I guess.... please somebody tell me I'm not alone.... and I'm not just a horrible fucking person...

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Dear one ,

I WANT YOU THE SWEEP THAT OR ANY OTHER THOUGHT IN THAT VENU OUTA YOUR MIND AND REGECT ALL THOUGHTS LIKE THAT ~~~

You are feeling, thinking totally normal things because of your GREIF..

i feel there are morsels,,with GREIF even thou it seems so many who NO CLUE what's it like to walk in your shoes seem to have all the answers for us...

i care,

remember,,,from my experience of losing two sons...

as you said here,

the second year is harder as it is more real..

i believe shock, dental, whatever on labels it...

i a gift from God for our survival,,,

and I am speaking of grief,,,,

what heart could survive the loss of ones heart if the totality came to our human understanding..

i care..

keep talking ,,,you are doing GREIF workkkkk,,,it's all good, and leading u to the point where somehow

o e figures out how to adjust to this life without your dear child..

RAiNiE

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Talyott you are not a horrible person just human. I know how hard it is to celebrate with others when your world has been turned upside down forever. it is natural for your thoughts to turn to your much loved son and to feel bitter and even resentful. then there are the other family times, Xmas, new Year, birthdays, graduations etc that always have your child missing it is so painful. i agree with rainie it is hard work to grieve and each day is different but hopefully we can all work out how to find peace.

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