Dad moving on

[Oceansedge]

My mom passed on Halloween of 2015. I lived about 12 hours from my parents but have recently moved home and in with my dad. I figured it would be nice to be close to him and he could spend time with my kids. I learned about 2 months before I moved home that my dad was in a new relationship. It bothered me to a small degree but ultimately I wanted my dad to be happy. Since I have moved home, the situation with my dad has really started to bother me. He spends very little time with us and my kids seem like an annoyance to him. We are staying with him temporarily until we can find a home of our own. His attitude has annoyed me so much it is making it difficult for me to want to form a relationship with his girlfriend. He also dotes on her and treats her with way more dignity and respect then he treated my mom with. He is planning on taking her to Italy and my mother wanted to travel and he always said he was afraid to fly. It breaks my heart that I feel as if my mom wasted her whole life hoping he would change. I guess it is partly her fault for believing for so long. I just feel like my dad is so damn selfish and I feel like maybe the wrong parent was taken too soon. Is this bad of me to feel this way? My husband lost his mom a little over 5 yrs ago and he has been great at listening but I am not feeling any better about the situation. Another thing that makes me feel bad is that he doesn't want to tell me things, like the trip he is planning. He hides things from me. I don't know, maybe I should just stay out of his business. 

[ModKonnie]

I am very sorry about the loss of your mom. Honestly, when my father passed away, my mother behaved very much like your father. I was shocked. She was married to him for 54 years and her behavior freaked us all out. I now realize she was scared, lonely and had to start a new life. My mother went to Italy weeks after my father died, she got her ears pierced three times each, and went crazy on shopping and even had a boyfriend for a brief while 20 years younger than herself. That didn't last but a few weeks. 

What I learned is that my mom's life is her business. She is living, and she deserves to continue her life, with or without my dad. So, perhaps you can just learn to let him live his live and accept him for who he has become. 

We will be with you,

ModKonnie