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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie
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Scooby's Dad

Bad habits...

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I was married for 8 years. Together for 11 years. In 2011 we had a bad year... When things started getting better I said I'd never go through a time like that again. In 2015 we got divorced. It was sudden... Everything I thought we had fixed wasn't fixed. She put a considerable amount of effort into making it seem so to fix things, lied to herself and me. In December of 2014 Everything changed suddenly and fell apart. I didn't expect this or want this. I thought we were happy and was working hard and sacrificing to make her dreams and our dreams come true and waiting to work on my own. By May of 2015 we filed for divorce. Today we are best friends. She has lingering sadness, but is genuinely okay with how thinga turned out. I can't get passed it. I turned to bad habits to cope. I started smoking again after years. And i cannot remember the last day i was sober. I pay my bills, maintain a job and friendships... But i have no doubt i am a functioning alcoholic. I keep trying to change it. Keep finding new things to get excited about and look forward to. But i end up in the same place every day when I am alone. Mentally and otherwise. I don't know how to fix it. A little background... I came from an abusive family, and have no family support... I have two close friends i can count on... One because she's been where i am and the other just loves me and is understanding but she lives 400 miles away. I left home young... Was homeless but clawed my way back up and after several relationships and such found my future wife. I was truly happy. I don't want her back. I don't want a wife who doesn't want me. I have faith that someday this will all subside. I just don't know how to cope in a healthy way in the meantime. I used to run miles every day and feel good about myself... Now i drink and smoke and spend all my time with my dog or at a job i care nothing for and it feels like it's all jusy piling up. I guess, advice is cool... But mainly I'm posting this to get affirmation that I'm not alone. Apologies for grammatical errors... I'm terrible at typing on my phone.

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Scooby's Dad,

I would you encourage you to get yourself to an AA meeting immediately. Like Now. If you don't want anyone in your town to know of your drinking, then go out of town. Try AA online by googling "aa online meetings." There are tons of them.

Try taking some workout clothes to work with you. As soon as you get off, don't allow yourself to go home or to the bar. Go instead to the gym or start walking. If you can work your way back to running--well that will be awesome. Join a running group even if you can't run right now.

You absolutely HAVE to get out and make connections--sober connections. Immediately. Reaching out here is a good start. I'm glad you came here. You are not alone. Divorce derails many people--most people really. Your way of dealing with it is common but not healthy. Again, you are not alone. :)

We will be with you,

ModKonnie

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