My blessing is what he is

[brothapete33]

When I got the phone call on April 23, 2014 that my brother had had an accident and didn't make it, I felt apart of me die that day. I have had my feelings hurt down through the years and my heart broken a time or two, but the pain I felt, none can compare. I can honestly say, he is the first man to REALLY break my heart. He was diagnosed with diabetes three years ago and do to that he had high blood pressure and didn't know it and it blew out one of his kidney's. But what all kicked it off is one night he got to close to an electric heater and got an very bad burn. After the very bad burn his leg begin to swell, then the other leg begin to swell until he was swollen from his waist down. He was full of fluid, so, after an doctor's visit he begin to slowly lose the fluid but he also was on an special diet. NO SALT!!! Things begin to look good to "us" but all along he wasn't going by the doctor's orders with what foods he could and could not eat. And the fluid slowly began to creep back on him but this time it got so bad that he could hardly walk or breath. By this time he's going through congested heart failure and with that it did a lot of damage. He was then put on dialysis and that took a toll on him mentally and physically. At the beginning of his treatments he would come home which would have me very worried because it was an hour or two drive from our home to the town he was going to for treatment. (Clarksdale Mississippi to Germantown Tennessee) But he would say he felt rejuvenated and full of energy when he left dialysis. Well, as time went on he mentioned to my mom that he didn't see the use in going because he felt it wasn't doing him any good. We had to tell him that, in order for it to do good, he had to do right. By this time he was missing his appointments but telling us that he was going. Well, if you miss so many times the clinic would call to inform the family ( my mom) that he didn't show up. Well a week before my brother went home, we ( him, my Mom and I ) had an serious talk. I remember telling him these words, brother do you know how much it stresses Momma when she gets an call from Devita (Dialysis Center) that you've missed another appointment? How do you think you're going to get another kidney if you want do right with the one you have? You act like you want to die and if you keep up with the way that you're going that's what's going to happen. He said, you're right sister but you all just don't know how it feels to sit in that chair for four hours, in one spot. That was the last heart to heart talk I had with my brother about his treatments. On April 11, 2014 on my birthday a surprised birthday party was thrown for my Mom and I. (Hers is April 1st) The first time that has ever happened. He was the type that loved to be with his family and loved to be the life of the party. :-) My baby sister and brother has giving me a new nickname (Chuckberrysteviewonder, and yes you have to say it all together just as it's written, long story) So he goes and get the birthday cake and on it he puts CBSW and he was so happy about it because after his passing the lady at the cake store said how sorry she was about his passing and that the last time she saw him was when he came to pick up and birthday cake for his sister and momma. I don't mean to chew you guys ear off it's just that this is all new and I'm trying my best to cope. I thank God that I finally looked up this type of site. I pray that God gives us all the strength that we need to overcome this great grief that we feel. Here's another shocker, the day before he passed ( April 22, 2014) he tagged me and a few more relatives to an poem that didn't set well with me. It goes like this, " I am waiting on you. Through the clouds, over the moon. A blessing is what I am. At the end of time I am still waiting on you. With all the hell you go thru on earth I am still heaven on earth and in the clouds. Heaven is waiting on you." I immediately told him that I didn't like it and that I was not ready for that at the moment. But the whole time he was letting us know that he was ready and that his time was up. The next day at 3:39 p.m. he had an massive heart attack at the wheel after leaving the dialysis center. My brother found Jesus.

[ModKonnie]

Brothapete,

I am so very sorry about the loss of your brother, but I am glad he made his spiritual connection. Do you have friends or other family to talk to? Are you taking care of yourself?

 

We will be here for you,

ModKonnie