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DavidM65

Moving through a divorce for the 1st time...

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Hello, I am new to this site. My name is David. I am 49. I am currently experiencing a divorce. Having only been married a year (my 1st and only marriage to this point, her 3rd marriage-we had lived together for 4 years prior ), I am experiencing  profound feelings  of grief, loss, regret, loneliness, sadness, anxiety, unworthiness, fragility, vulnerability, and that I've completely blown my chance at life long commitment, love, and happiness at age 49. All of the above mentioned feelings are totally normal based on the research I have done, but it sure doesn't make it any easier. I just wanted to reach out and connect with folks because even though the above mentioned feelings have made this an unbelievably difficult experience, I've also felt renewed feelings of compassion, kindness, and understanding for not only other people, but myself as well. I am looking to make new friends and to heal. Please feel free to write back, share your thoughts and feelings or just say hello.

 

 

David

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Hi David, welcome.

 

I'm afraid not as many people pay attention to the topics down here so you may not get many responses.  I did want to tell you though, I have a friend who was in a similar relationship as yours and had an even shorter marriage.  He was also two years older.  He suffered through much of the same confusion that you've expressed.

 

I'm glad you're finding the ability to experience deeper compassion for yourself and others though.  I am finding that any profound grief can open our hearts just in the way you've described.  I suppose it's something of a trade-off... and that's a small attempt at humour :)   Maybe there's even some support groups you might want to join so you can share that sense of community around?  Perhaps meetup.com would have something in your area.

 

I wish you luck in your process, David.  Always try to remember to be that compassionate to yourself. 

 

<3

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Hi David...

You are not alone in this. There are several more, including me, going through this phase. This sucks. I'm separated for 4 months. Just can't wait to get the papers signed and get done with it. Not because I don't love my husband, but I hate the way he has abused me emotionally for so many years and continue keeping my life at standstill by not releasing me. Sometime I burst out crying, sometimes I feel this deep pain but no tears. I get so angry. I want to be left alone. I can't stand ppl who post happy pics on Facebook. This is all natural. We all go through this. Soon it will end. Hope u did find people to hang out with, share ur experience and feel new all over again. God bless.

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Divorce i got married in one month after meeting him, i didnt know the person and trusted him to be my husband. he never felt or had planned for us on the long term. we got divorced two years after marriage it was just a broken relationship that never had true love or any foundation. he never really seemed happy with me so after cheating, lies an unhappiness i had to file for divorce. it was a bad experience to be married for the first time. this first marriage just left me not wanting to marry no one else to not trust no one because all my hopes of having a forever after marriage will not happen. 

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