Members obakesan Posted May 7, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 7, 2014 Some time ago I watched "What Dreams May Come", there was one thing in particular which resonated with me and that was the idea that when Robin Williams (the deceased husband) attempted to touch his wife in the movie she burst into tears and wept. There have been a number of trivial things which have happened to me that left me with the feeling that she is not simply gone (although as a science type I have a skeptical part of my mind going nahhhh). I started questioning if this was such a reaction (caused by her spirit being close) that I should accept it and not push it away. Eventually I started talking to her as if she was there at those times, apologizing for my tears and attempting to assure her that I was strong enough to handle this intense emotional experience so that she did not have to withdraw. She said to me in life that she loved that I could cry (unlike so many men) as I did occasionally cry over things when we were in private. Since I started doing this the feelings of emotion are still there but I feel less anguished by them. Tears well but the pain is less. I use these times to also reflect on my love for her and thank her for having shared as much life together as we did. Perhaps this is all in my head ... but then what isn't? I hope this can be of help to anyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members HeyJude Posted May 7, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 7, 2014 I have never seen that movie. Think I'll watch it!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rootiment Posted May 7, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 7, 2014 I am new to this group. I lost my wife due to leukemia after 45 years of marriage 3 weeks ago. I apologize if this repetitive but the book Life after Loss by Rev. Bob Deits has proven to be a helpful tool in dealing with what we are going through. It really helps you understand why you are grieving and how to move through it. I highly recommend it. I just picked it up off the Barnes and Noble shelf with no prior recommendation. I think my lost wife led me to it. My grown children are reading it also and find it helpful. I too feel lost and life is meaningless. BUT I literally force myself to eat regularly, exercise, and cry when i feel the need. Each day is filled with sorrow but I know that I will not always feel as I do today (one of Rev. Deits mantras). I also think my wife is giving me the strength to do these things because I could just as easily shut myself in and cry all the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Shattered14 Posted May 9, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 9, 2014 Thank you for this information. I am searching for anything that may help so I will buy this book. Someone gave me another book recently that I have found somewhat helpful. It is called Messages by Bonnie McEneaney. It is about the widows of 9/11 and the experiences that they have had since losing their spouses. It is about signs and messages that they believe are from their spouses. While they are all losses from 9/11, the book itself really is more just about loss and believing that our loves ones really are not completely gone although we can't see them anymore. I am hoping this is true because I really need it to be. Any other recommendations for reading or watching would be appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Seeking something Posted May 14, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 14, 2014 Hi there, I was given the book "How To Go On Living When Someone You Love Dies" by Therese Rando. I have found this book helpful in understanding some of the things I am going through. Read the whole thing, even the parts you may think don't apply because she talks about a lot of useful stuff in each chapter. It helped me make sense of the times I literally thought I was going crazy, and it gave me a way to make sense of the physical things I am experiencing as well as emotional and mental. Another suggestion is the book "The Year of Magical Thinking" by Joan Didion. I am only a couple chapters into this one but so far its really resonating for me. Its a memoire about a woman whose husband died suddenly of a heart attack. I will let you know once I get a bit further into it, but so far it is providing me with something relatable. Just some suggestions, perhaps they are worth looking into. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Silvergirl61 Posted May 15, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 15, 2014 Perhaps this is all in my head ... but then what isn't? and in that one sentence, you summed up so much of what all of this is about. What we believe can either make us or destroy us, can't it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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