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friends has lost 2 adult children in a year. What do I say to him?


Caremal

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My friend has lost 2 of his children one this week and one last fall. I need advice on what to say to him, other then I care and I am sorry. Does anyone have advice for me to help him?

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Jesse David & Taylor Mom

Just be with him... if he is open, be willing to do the small things, grocery shopping, yard mowing, other chores, just sitting there with a cup of coffee... and shared tears go along way...He is in shock right now....helping him get through the daily stuff....

I would recommend the book "Life after the death of my son" by David Apple. It tells you like it really is for a grieving parent...

http://www.amazon.com/Life-After-Death-My-Son/dp/0834123657

Be willing to be with him over the long haul, don't rush his grief, it will never go away, perhaps one will learn one day how to limp a little better...his children's deaths will always be a gaping hole with slightly healed edges...let him remember his children with you...

Here is a link to the Compassionate Friends, the newly bereaved....

http://www.compassionatefriends.org/Find_Support/Personal-Note/To_the_Newly_Bereaved.aspx

Thanks for posting in here and asking on his behalf. Also, if he wants to, he can "talk" with other parents in the Loss of the Adult Child thread....it is an ongoing discussion with newcomers welcome...

Sending prayers,

Jesse David's Mom,

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thank you for the advice. I will get that book. I cant do other things much as we live 300 mils apart. however his faith is strong and I will support that as much as I can. He was there for me when I lost my husband so we all know the grief process is not fun for sure. thank you for your help.

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I think just listening to him, asking how he's doing, letting him tell you about his kids and memories, cooking for him if local, etc. all help. While I don't think there's anything someone can say to really help someone heal, just showing you care helps. And you do care. :)

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