Members dbaliva Posted June 10, 2013 Members Report Share Posted June 10, 2013 It will soon be the 10th anniversary of my son's death. I honestly thought it would get easier by now! Well, I guess it has a little but there isn't one day that goes by that I don't think about him or sit and cry! I wasn't with him when he passed and I couldn't help him or even let him know that I was there. He was in another state and was all alone! I think that is what bothers me the most. How do you handle this? I do not want to forget about him but I would like to be a little happier. I don't see that happening anytime soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dsmurph Posted June 11, 2013 Members Report Share Posted June 11, 2013 Hugs to you. I don't have any answers for you. Our daughter passed 7.5 months ago. I can only tell you, that as a mother, I can relate to your heartache. I also wake up every morning grieving. I grieve every day, throughout the day. I wake up in the middle of the night grieving. It is a painful walk. I am sure that your son would want you to find some happiness in your life. I hope you do find some. I do find some peace in knowing that my daughter is around me at times. I feel her. My husband does too. That little bit of peace has to be good enough. We can't ever have yesterday back. My heart cries out for you. Debbie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members kirasmom Posted June 12, 2013 Members Report Share Posted June 12, 2013 I am only 2 years coming up, but I am pretty sure I will still be like you at 10 years - where I am thinking about her all the time. Try not to feel too bad about not being with him when he passed. I am sure if you could have been there or had known what was coming you would have been there- my daughter died right upstairs at our house and there were 3 of us downstairs and didn't know she had passed out in the tub - so died alone even though we were seconds away from her- so I do understand your feeling on that. All we can do is stick together through this- the rest of the world doesn't understand what we are living through. Take care. Kira's mom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members angelzone Posted June 12, 2013 Members Report Share Posted June 12, 2013 I too lost my beautiful 13 year old son 11 years ago. The ONLY thing that helped me was going to see a medium and hear from Evan directly, which is what happened. I don't care if you believe in mediums or not. Why should you if you haven't taken a leap of faith?Both George Anderson, www.georgeanderson.com and the Long Island Medium are both in NY. You owe it to yourself and to your child who would LOVE to communicate with you to to go beyond faith and have an actual experience, which will be undeniable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members NeverAndAlways Posted June 21, 2013 Members Report Share Posted June 21, 2013 It hasn't nearly been 10 years for me...but I remember the first time I visited a 'compassionate friends' meeting. There was a man there who said it had been 20 years...and I saw him break down and cry. It harrowed my soul because it was the first time it dawned on me that there was no 'other side of the tunnel'...it was a portal into another world where my girls weren't there and I would never be the same person again. Your pained write just further confirms that for me. I suppose there is a part of me however, that would never tolerate becoming a version of myself that had 'finished grieving' one day. I can't imagine grieving the rest of my life, but I can't imagine not either...N&A Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted July 3, 2013 Members Report Share Posted July 3, 2013 It hasn't nearly been 10 years for me...but I remember the first time I visited a 'compassionate friends' meeting. There was a man there who said it had been 20 years...and I saw him break down and cry. It harrowed my soul because it was the first time it dawned on me that there was no 'other side of the tunnel'...it was a portal into another world where my girls weren't there and I would never be the same person again. Your pained write just further confirms that for me. I suppose there is a part of me however, that would never tolerate becoming a version of myself that had 'finished grieving' one day. I can't imagine grieving the rest of my life, but I can't imagine not either...N&AI believe you are entirely right N&A. A part of me, what was connected to my son, is still connected. Part of me lies with him in that grave, along with part of me joined with his free spirit. We were always uniquely tied... "You said, there is a part of you that will never tolerate becoming a version of myself that has 'finished grieving'". I know that is me...I know it...May your girls be with so close to you today...(((HUGS))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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