New here - Could use some advice

[msamaelaine]

My mom passed away unexpectedly last year in March. We had a very rocky history together but at the end were very good. I would call her everytime I went grocery shopping and we would talk through my entire shopping experience. Plus then she could give advice on brand names and such. I am 29 and I have been on my own since 17. My mom died of heart failure in her sleep at age 45. Part of me has dealt with this and even though it took almost a month after her passing, I did my fair share of crying and what I thought was grieving. Now, over a year later I am crying again like it just happened. Everything bothers me and I am moody and sensitive. How do I get past what appears to be a second grieving... I have to find a way to move forward but I just feel stuck. Any advice is appreciated. i am on this site because there are no local support groups for parental loss in my area and I figured this may help.

Thank you in advance.

Amanda

[ModKonnie]

Amanda, I am very sorry about the loss of your mom. You have taken a good step in coming here. You get through this by talking about how you feel, what you are thinking and by talking about your mom. Talking is the best way to process and sort and find your way down this very difficult path. Do you have any relatives or friends to lean on? The first anniversary is usually a very tough one. It seems as though the reality and finality of a loss begins to seep in, and it's just overall tough. We will be here for you--ModKonnie

[Lostwithoutmum]

Hi Amanda, really sorry for your loss...

Don't really know how it works, grief...but it has hit back strongly and very frequently since mum has passed (heart failure too), only 4 months ago....today I felt as if I lost her just yesterday...back to square one with anger, extreme yearning and sadness, frustration, whys, .....I suppose we have to go through it again and again simply because there's no closure, we don't get it, we don't believe it and we don't like the 'now' without people who meant the world to us..

Just meant to say you are not alone

x

[MissuDad]

Hi Amanda,

Really sorry for the loss of your mother L

Wish I could give your more advice on why this might be happening to you, can it be because you haven´t really let it all out at the time?

It also could be just a phase, considering now you´ve been through all the “firsts” and something has been missing all along.

For what I´ve been reading, grief comes and goes when we least expect it, even after years of the loss, so it might just be a phase that came and will eventually go.

Hang in there, a big hug to you