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Feeling orphaned with death of both parents

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I am so sorry to see and hear about so many others who are suffering grief from the loss of their parents...my heart goes out to you. I thought I understood how HARD it would be when my mom passed away last September but it was not fully grieved and so my father's death Dec. 1st. finalized the necessity of fully grieving BOTH of their deaths.

They were both cremated and this has been a disgusting taste in my mouth as neither of them "planned" for their burial, etc and it was left up to me personally to set up cremation, according to my dad's wishes and then my mothers body was also cremated, due to her wishes for economic reasons and I am made because there is "no final resting place" and no place where I can visit and "talk" to them. I am angry about this.

My mother and I were best friends. From the time I was born until my first marriage; I spent a lot of time with her. After the first divorce, I managed to spend more time with her and then she and dad came to live with my new family in a home where I took care of them until dad went into a nursing home in 2008. Mom stayed with us until 2009 and I never saw her after that. I had seen my dad about 5 times after 2008 and the most current and last time I saw him was in June at my nieces graduation.

I guess this "is the place" to grieve. I feel that if I can just write about my grief, share how my parents influenced my lives (sometimes with "negative warnings" rather than by example) that I can work through the grief process to recovery...

I appreciate this board...thank you for being here and for reading and commenting if you like.

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Dearest (((((((Crushed Rose)))))))

First of all I want to express my deepest sympathy on the physical passing of your dear parents.

Yes, you have come to the right place where you can feel free to speak about your parents as you feel led to do. We have all experienced similar things therefore can and are most sympathetic to what you may say. I hope you will find great comfort by visiting with us here and will return as many times as you would like.

Your decision about the cremation was done as per your parent's wishes.Therefore, you must not feel upset, as if it had been your own choice and you were able to, you obviously would have made another one. But also you must not feel angry about not having a final 'resting place' to visit them because even if they had received an interment-type burial they are truly no longer there as that is only their remains of a physical body and that is something they have shed for their greater and eternal Spiritual Body. Therefore, when you wish to visit with your parents just do so where ever you feel led. They will more than likely be there in spirit as you call out to them in prayer or otherwise. Those now in spirit can come quickly to be there when their loved ones call to them so please know that it does not necessarily have to be at a cemetary or grave site. If you have their urns then you might wish to focus on them right where they are. If not, then again just speak to them openly right where you are and they will hear you as that is the way of spirit.

May you be blessed with peace, Love, and tranquility always, dearheart. My prayers are with you and your dear parents. Many ((((Hugs)))) to you!

The following fine websites may bring added comfort to you at this time.



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Thank you :wub: BreathofAngel:

It DOES help to share my grief recovery here on this forum and I appreciate your kindness.

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