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UnderHis Wings

How Can I Spend Christmas This Year?

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Every time I think about this coming Christmas I start crying. How can I go through the motions without him? I think I'll be crying and crying. I don't know how to be without him at my favorite time of the year.

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I am so with you on this... Not seeing him sitting on the floor ripping those presents open is going to kill me... Yet i have two step daughters who i still have to go through the motions for... And i am sure although we have nothing to do with the third daughter she will wish to make an appearance during that time as well... Is there some way we can just skip it this year?...

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I have to get his name embroidered on a Christmas stocking. I also want to get a picture frame ornament to hang on the tree. I think these things will help me cope a little, but I'm sure to cry anyway.

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I was not sure whether to reply to this topic or not. I do not want to bring anyone down. My son died almost three years ago two weeks before Christmas. He was here with us at home and it was sudden and unexpected. I can remember vividly watching the paramedics trying to revive him unsuccessfully. I remember being led to the living room by someone to sit on our sofa. I was in a state of shock. I sat looking at the mantlepiece that was decorated with my favorite Dickens Village. Everything was decorated for Xmas. The thought going through my mind that this was not real and it could not be happening. People don't die at Christmas time I told myself.Sounds ridiculous when I say it now. But it was so fast and unexpected. One minute here and the next gone. That first Christmas I was in so much pain and shock that I could not breathe. Celebrating seemed impossible. We walked around the house quietly in a deep fog of pain. We decided to do something to honour his memory. It was what helped to keep me focused and from sinking into a deep despair. We placed a bid on a Christmas tree that was being auctioned of for Charity and we won the tree. We donated it to the Paramedics that had helped to revive him for their office. It helped me to feel a little better thinking about somebody else. Listening to Christmas carols, watching TV was just not possible. Everything was far too painful. I can't even remember if we ate that day. My family were not there for us. They had other plans of travel, etc. So we toughed it out on our own. It was really hard. BUT we did do it and survived. The following year was a bit better. Still no music played, but the decorations went up as always. This time thinking about him all the time as I went about my task. This will be our third Christmas and I am dreading it very much. However, we will still make every effort to do our best. That is after all about all you can expect of yourself. If you have other children or grandchildren it is truly necessary to make an effort for them. Try to remember them by perhaps purchasing an ornament for the tree that is lovingly placed on the tree each year. Do something that will allow you to bring them into your life again that day with love and warmth.It doesn't have to be anything elaborate. Each year will get a little easier and the pain will soften a bit. But it will never be the same.... so accept that.... and do something different or new. Hope this helps.

Kate

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Kate, thank you so much for sharing your story. I'm so sorry that your loss came at Christmas time and that you lost a child. Those of us who have never lost a child, need to realize that we do have something to be grateful for. And I feel comforted by your suggestions.

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Dear Underhiswings,

Im so sorry for your Loss, and many other people that have posted on this subject of loss.

I know this message is too late but you can go into print options and tell it to make your Printer the default option not the Fax.

Goto Start

Printers

To do this highlight your printer,

Right click

And Goto option of Make Default printer.

Please private message me if you need to

Ritchie x x

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