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ThomasP

Lost my faith

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ThomasP   

My father passed on July 7, 2010 from cancer. Not a day goes by that I do not think of him, see something or someone that reminds me of him, or feel his influence on my life. Since his passing, I have found my faith in God wavering. I am angry at God for taking my dad. While I once prayed daily, read the Bible, attended church, and continued to build my faith, my father's death has taken all of that away. I have no fellowship with God anymore. Of course I still believe in Him, but we are estranged. Part of me justifies my feelings and reactions, another part of me feels empty without my spiritual foundation.

Has anyone else gone through these types of reactions and experiences, and if so, how did you overcome them?

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My father passed on July 7, 2010 from cancer. Not a day goes by that I do not think of him, see something or someone that reminds me of him, or feel his influence on my life. Since his passing, I have found my faith in God wavering. I am angry at God for taking my dad. While I once prayed daily, read the Bible, attended church, and continued to build my faith, my father's death has taken all of that away. I have no fellowship with God anymore. Of course I still believe in Him, but we are estranged. Part of me justifies my feelings and reactions, another part of me feels empty without my spiritual foundation.

Has anyone else gone through these types of reactions and experiences, and if so, how did you overcome them?

Dearest (((((((Stillhurting))))))),

I am with you on your loss, dearheart. Sometimes words are not enough to cover the hurt that one goes through when they lose a close member of the family. Because your Dad's passing is still quite new to you it is natural to feel upset, empty, and alone. But I'm sure if your Dad knew you were feeling this way (and don't think he doesn't) he would not want for you to suffer from something that you could not help happening nor could he.

Passing-on is a part of life itself. Incidentally, as a person who has done extensive studies on the Afterlife, I never use the term "death" as truly there is no death. When a person passes-on they merely shed their physical body in exchange for their more beautiful Spiritual body, that's all! Life Does Continue! However, to the one left behind, it is of little comfort as we always wish that person was right there with us still. Again, that is a most natural feeling. But please know that each and every person in this world, from a King to a peasant, has their appointed time in which they must make their transition back into spirit. We are spirit to begin with. We were spirit before our incarnation, and we come here to this existence only to learn the lessons that we must learn in order to aid in our greater spiritual growth. Once those lessons are complete, we must ALL return back to spirit from whence we came.

But what you must reassess is your feelings of anger towards God as that is not a healthy attitude or stance once you know and realize that it was not God who willfully took your Dad. It was due to the time that was set before he came into this world. You see, before we come here we make certain agreements in spirit of the things we will choose to learn in this life which includes many hardships, sorrows, and even tragedies at times. But without knowledge of what that would be like we would not be able to grow spiritually. There will also be great memories and experiences, as well, to balance things out. But being angry with God does nothing for bringing your Dad back to you and only upsets you further at a time when you are already feeling vulnerable and instead should be surrounded only by loving vibrations.

Please know that you are blaming God for something that He should not be blamed for. You say your Dad's passing has taken away your prayers, going to church, your Bible reading, etc. but that is exactly what you need at the present time as well as for all time! Without God in your life, you truly have nothing! And if you choose to alienate yourself from Him (as can be your personal choice due to your own free will), how can you expect for Him to come to you and help move you into better days with your sorrow? You have to be aligned with God in order for God to help you get past your grieving. And He will if you but ask Him and have faith in your heart.

You say that not a day goes by that you do not feel your Dad's influence in your life or see something that reminds you of him. Of course you do! And do you know why that is? Because your Dad is still very much a part of your life, (((((((dearheart)))))))! He will always be close to you even in his new life! Just because you cannot physically see him anymore or hear him does not mean he is not there because he is! The principle here is the same as when you see a non-running fan. You see all the fan blades quite clearly (representative of a person who is alive that you can likewise see). But when you turn on the fan the blades begin to rotate very rapidly and you can no longer see them as before (representative of a person's passing where you can no longer see their physical body). However, that does not mean that the fan blades are no longer there because they are! The same with your Dad! He is still there and watches over you and sees you, only now he is very happy that he does not have to suffer anymore from any physical illness or condition because it no longer exists in the Afterlife! He is completely well now as you would want for him to be. But perhaps the hardest thing for him to see and witness from his new life perspective is you crying and being angry at God over his passing. That hurts him more than you could ever possibly know! The reason that it does is because once a person is back in spirit, they gather a much greater perspective of things that go on in our dimension and they can understand so much more of why things had to happen they way they did. Therefore, while he understands that you still grieve for him due to natural human emotion, he cannot understand why you feel as you do about God, your Creator, and He who Loves you more than you could ever possibly know.

That is what saddens your Dad as it does other people who have passed-on when they see those left behind grieving and feeling angry. Also, there are things that those in spirit can do to make themselves known to those left behind if people only learn to watch out for the subtle signs. But did you know that when a person has excessive grieving or anger those emotions can actually thwart spirit from making themselves known in ways they were planning to communicate! It is because those emotions have a very low and dense vibration and those in spirit vibrate at a much higher rate than that which is incompatible with their new body, existence, and thinking. And since they have already seen God right after their physical passing, they know of His goodness, compassion, and mercy for mankind and that if anything He is to be Blameless for anything that humans often attribute to Him such as the anger they feel after a close one passes-on or the threat of leaving their religion because of it. And please also know that when a person passes-on and does not heal, their passing, their release from the bind of their illness, can also be a healing but in a different, more spiritual form!

So, to make your Dad truly happy in his new life, and you must surely know that he truly deserves to be, please take a step back and reflect upon this message and then absorb it into your personal understanding. Once you can do that, you will be in a much better space and so will your Dad who will begin to notice the changes in your personal vibration and energy field which spirit is so adept at detecting! But most importantly, go to God and speak to Him as your heavenly Father that He is and let Him know that you misunderstood things but are ready to return to Him as His child that you rightfully are! That will be most pleasing to God to hear! Then pick up your Holy Bible and read it for added inspiration as well as personal messages. It will help you to regain the trust you feel you have lost due to your Dad's passing and will help to bring greater spiritual healing unto you at a time when you know that would be like a balm unto your soul.

May God bless you always, dearheart, and know that you are blessed with your Dad's love for you and will be always, throughout time, as the love kindled in this life cannot ever be broken or taken away from you! It is yours to keep and to continue rekindling throughout eternity! Make your Dad proud by letting him know that you have a new outlook on life and that you choose to return to God and be more open to His loving vibrations in your life as well as your Dad's! That would surely make him happy and the joy that you will feel in your heart in rejoining God once again will be a feeling that can only be compared to ecstasy and you don't know how much it will help you to realign with Jesus Christ in this life in preparation for the Afterlife that we must all face one day. You don't want to go back home knowing that you rejected God. More importantly, you want to know that He knows that before your own transition you made things right with Him and decided to not believe His adversary that would make you feel you do not need God in your life anymore but rather that you are astute enough to know that you do because ultimately, Jesus is the only One who will be able to grant you salvation, something no one else ever possibly could and that is for Eternity!

May God bless you and keep you strong and vibrant and with Him!

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ThomasP   

While I appreciate the time you took to respond to my post, I resent the comments that you know what my beloved father is feeling, seeing, or thinking. You don't know that any more than I do. It is one thing to offer counsel, fellowship, and encouragement, and those are always appreciated. But to write about what my dad is feeling, and he being sad, happy, criying, etc is way over the line, and that was not appreciated at all. If you are going to be a blessing to others, stop presuming what the departed loved ones are doing, thinking, and feeling. Only God knows that as those who have passed are in eternity now.

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While I appreciate the time you took to respond to my post, I resent the comments that you know what my beloved father is feeling, seeing, or thinking. You don't know that any more than I do. It is one thing to offer counsel, fellowship, and encouragement, and those are always appreciated. But to write about what my dad is feeling, and he being sad, happy, criying, etc is way over the line, and that was not appreciated at all. If you are going to be a blessing to others, stop presuming what the departed loved ones are doing, thinking, and feeling. Only God knows that as those who have passed are in eternity now.

Dear Stillhurting, I sincerely regret that you took offense to the reply given. However, as you must surely know this website has a very important section on ADCs (After-Death Communication, etc.) that obviously the website owner felt was an important and integral part for people to know about and be aware of therefore included it here and made the information open and public, and I feel most everyone is familiar with it if they are regular visitors or posting parties. It is with the knowing of how so many others worldwide who have received ADCs and have studied about the Afterlife feel and the knowledge the thousands to the millions bring back with them after being declared clinically 'dead' and that they all experience new enlightenment and understanding while on the other side that I thought of sharing this with you in an effort to help you understand more about what goes on after life in this dimension expires. Had I known that you were not ready to receive this information or perhaps even be open to it, that response would not have been given.

May Peace Be With You In Christ's Love!

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widower2   

BA, I don't mean to speak for anyone, but I think you missed the point..."ADCs" was not the topic. No such thing(s) were mentioned or part of this, so including them wasn't frankly relevant. This person mentioned their beliefs being shaken badly and asking how people dealt with it. It seems to me that replies, then, should be right along those lines. And as already stated, presuming you "know" what this person's father feels/felt I agree is a bit out of line. It likely would have been better if you at least preface such statements as belief/opinion, not fact - eg "I think your dad feels...." etc.

That said, I think much of what you said was good stuff and don't disagree per se, and I think was well meant, and ask SH that he/she keep that in mind.

SH, I have had very mixed reactions in terms of my religious beliefs, including being estranged from God at times. I don't presume to have any real answers for you necessarily, but for me, y I think it's "riding the storm out" as much as anything. I think the fact that you are missing that connection is a very good thing and a good indicator that sooner or later you stand a good chance of "making up" with God to some extent or other - but again it isn't easy or quick, and it won't just happen; you have to want it enough. And what seems better: clinging to your anger, or trying to at least put that on simmer and trying to re-connect to God?

As for being angry at God for taking your loved one, certainly understandable and I think most of us have been there to some extent or other. But I think/hope you realize that God doesn't do things just the way we want and bad things happen to good people all the time. I don't think this is God reaching out and "zapping" people really, but more him allowing life to unfold however it unfolds, and part of life is its end and things not going how we want - and if you hate something like this happening, imagine how much He must hate it, esp knowing He has the power to stop it but doesn't? Think about it: if He reached in and "saved" us from everything bad, we wouldn't really be living life; we'd be like puppets on a string. I realize that doesn't probably help much, but it's just my take. And yes that doesn't stop me from hating it or wondering so often the "why" of it all, and more than once letting Him know I often really hate "His plan." Racking up time in purgatory I guess. :) Best to you

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BA, I don't mean to speak for anyone, but I think you missed the point..."ADCs" was not the topic. No such thing(s) were mentioned or part of this, so including them wasn't frankly relevant. This person mentioned their beliefs being shaken badly and asking how people dealt with it. It seems to me that replies, then, should be right along those lines. And as already stated, presuming you "know" what this person's father feels/felt I agree is a bit out of line. It likely would have been better if you at least preface such statements as belief/opinion, not fact - eg "I think your dad feels...." etc.

Greetings widower2, I certainly did not anticipate that my response would elicit further discourse but let's put this matter in its proper perspective so that hopefully this will be the last word on this issue.

My response to the posting party was based on two very important sentences that were part of the posting. Here they are.

"Not a day goes by that I do not think of him, see something or someone that reminds me of him, or feel his influence on my life."

This sentence, to one like myself who has studied about the Afterlife for many years and has even personally experienced aspects of the Afterlife for a very long time, indicates that when speaking about that they " ....feel his influence on my life." is indicative to me that part of that feeling and influence may certainly be due to the Afterlife influence. Many credible and learned scholars, people with doctor degrees, law degrees, etc. have spoken about the reality of the Afterlife and have shared information with others about what has been presented by those who had a first-hand experience there. Now, perhaps not every one believes in the Afterlife. Perhaps they do not believe they are going to die or pass away either. But the fact remains that they will and it is in the context of what I have learned about the Afterlife that my response was given to help share that information and hopefully help that individual understand more about what happens once a person passes on.

Secondly, in your saying that they were asking how people dealt with it, as well as the posting party further saying "Has anyone else gone through these types of reactions and experiences, and if so, how did you overcome them?" this certainly is an open-ended question and appears to further elicit any comments or experiences that could help her understand what we have experienced, studied, and know about this area and how those hard and hurtful experiences were overcome, just as she is asking, though others might have had a different response if they did not know about Afterlife matters. Therefore, since you appear to not be engaged in Afterlife matters or studies you would not know that the experiences of others, as well as that of my own, are very real, and people certainly sustain their information by speaking in the first person when asked about these matters. Therefore, to echo their comments is indeed their 'facts' as they have presented it to be and as we who have also experienced it, know it, as well as opinion. And this is said because the learned sources do not often speak in terms of "I think", or "It could be that this might have happened....", etc. Rather, they speak in a most definitive manner and again it is in reflecting their thoughts, as they know it, that the response was trying to reflect.

I hope you understand now that this was the thought behind the response. I realize that there are some who may indeed not be ready to accept this information in a conversation such as this but how does one know that beforehand, especially when the forum itself has a good section on ADCs and fully allows for it? Would one have to always preface their remarks by saying "Would you allow me to respond with a different perspective having to do with ADCs and the Afterlife"? And then wait for an answer before replying, or would the posting party need to include a statement such as "Please do not respond to my questions or statements with an ADC or Afterlife perspective." so that they would not take offense with another perspective? Keep in mind that there are no current rules in this forum, that I'm aware of, that prohibit such a response as well as that of "crossover comments" having to do with one topic in response to another being discussed which is apparently o.k.

But just as another section can have a topic that involves Suicide and yet a different section that involves Grieving would it be wrong for the person who has experienced a loved one who has committed suicide due to an illness to post of that experience in response and relation to one who is generally grieving while speaking about death matters? I think not. All is relative when it comes to grieving. Therefore, it was with completely good intent, I'll be glad to say again, that the response was given to bring a perspective that the posting party may not have been aware of or may have even heard about but not thought of in relation to their questions that could possibly bring some degree of comfort.

I thank you for your interest and courtesy in this matter and wish you a lovely day filled with sunshine and great happiness!

That said, I think much of what you said was good stuff and don't disagree per se, and I think was well meant, and ask SH that he/she keep that in mind.

Thank you again for that comment!

----------------------------------------------

SH, I have had very mixed reactions in terms of my religious beliefs, including being estranged from God at times. I don't presume to have any real answers for you necessarily, but for me, y I think it's "riding the storm out" as much as anything. I think the fact that you are missing that connection is a very good thing and a good indicator that sooner or later you stand a good chance of "making up" with God to some extent or other - but again it isn't easy or quick, and it won't just happen; you have to want it enough. And what seems better: clinging to your anger, or trying to at least put that on simmer and trying to re-connect to God?

As for being angry at God for taking your loved one, certainly understandable and I think most of us have been there to some extent or other. But I think/hope you realize that God doesn't do things just the way we want and bad things happen to good people all the time. I don't think this is God reaching out and "zapping" people really, but more him allowing life to unfold however it unfolds, and part of life is its end and things not going how we want - and if you hate something like this happening, imagine how much He must hate it, esp knowing He has the power to stop it but doesn't? Think about it: if He reached in and "saved" us from everything bad, we wouldn't really be living life; we'd be like puppets on a string. I realize that doesn't probably help much, but it's just my take. And yes that doesn't stop me from hating it or wondering so often the "why" of it all, and more than once letting Him know I often really hate "His plan." Racking up time in purgatory I guess. :) Best to you

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widower2   

Sorry but I don't think it seems you are really hearing what either of us are saying, instead continuing to plow us over with the whole "ADC" thing. If an ADC is something that helped you keep/regain your faith, fine, it would be nice if you relayed that particular experience - which again would tie in to the original question, at least partly. Again I'm sure your intent is good, but I think you may find you offend/annoy more people than you "reach" with such a headstrong attitude about ADCs (touting belief in it as "fact" etc), esp when responding to a topic like this, in which the OP's perspective/experiences/etc should be uppermost in one's mind, not those of the person replying. Pardon any offense.

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Sorry but I don't think it seems you are really hearing what either of us are saying, instead continuing to plow us over with the whole "ADC" thing. If an ADC is something that helped you keep/regain your faith, fine, it would be nice if you relayed that particular experience - which again would tie in to the original question, at least partly. Again I'm sure your intent is good, but I think you may find you offend/annoy more people than you "reach" with such a headstrong attitude about ADCs (touting belief in it as "fact" etc), esp when responding to a topic like this, in which the OP's perspective/experiences/etc should be uppermost in one's mind, not those of the person replying. Pardon any offense, just my last .02 on the topic.

This is hardly the place to engage in a tit-for-tat debate especially when there are so many people still grieving and mourning who would surely like to move on from such distractions. I believe I have made my position quite clear on where I stand with my perspective and future responses. I have even offered a kind suggestion to anyone who would prefer to go about it in a different way (please see below in my other posting.)

As to your feeling that more people are offended or annoyed with my responses, with all due respect, that is not correct as apparently not everyone feels that way. You need go no further than to the following posting to clarify this matter for you.

http://forums.grievi.../2858-murdered/

I have discussed ADCs there as well and they were very well received. Also, there are those who are somewhat timid about openly professing their appreciation of my responses due to, no doubt, trying to avoid responses such as yours, who have reached me through PM to thank me for my responses that they find very enlightening and comforting!

But since you seem to be one of the very few who appear to take offense to my responses, in my seeing clearly that most are appreciative of them, I would kindly suggest that in the future whenever you see my name by a posting, you kindly refrain from reading that posting so that you will not have to go out of your way to become offended yet again. Do you think you could do that? Thank you, sir, and have a most peaceful day with joy in your heart! Life is much too short to bicker about things that one may not like but many others do.

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widower2   

This is hardly the place to engage in a tit-for-tat debate especially when there are so many people still grieving and mourning who would surely like to move on from such distractions. I believe I have made my position quite clear on where I stand with my perspective and future responses. I have even offered a kind suggestion to anyone who would prefer to go about it in a different way (please see below in my other posting.)

As to your feeling that more people are offended or annoyed with my responses, with all due respect, that is not correct as apparently not everyone feels that way. You need go no further than to the following posting to clarify this matter for you.

http://forums.grievi.../2858-murdered/

I have discussed ADCs there as well and they were very well received. Also, there are those who are somewhat timid about openly professing their appreciation of my responses due to, no doubt, trying to avoid responses such as yours, who have reached me through PM to thank me for my responses that they find very enlightening and comforting!

But since you seem to be one of the very few who appear to take offense to my responses, in my seeing clearly that most are appreciative of them, I would kindly suggest that in the future whenever you see my name by a posting, you kindly refrain from reading that posting so that you will not have to go out of your way to become offended yet again. Do you think you could do that? Thank you, sir, and have a most peaceful day with joy in your heart! Life is much too short to bicker about things that one may not like but many others do.

Listening just isn't your thing is it? You continue to focus on YOU, not the OP, who oh by the way you might note was indeed clearly offended by your response....which FYI is what matters in this thread, but, surprise, you can't be bothered with that.

I know it's probably a wasted effort, but one more time: this thread isn't about you, your beloved "ADCs" or how wonderful others think you are. Frankly I don't care. But congrats on going out of your way to point it out. rolleyes.gif Wow what an incredible need for affirmation.

As for ignoring your future posts, no worries there. Have a peaceful day blah blah blah.

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Listening just isn't your thing is it? You continue to focus on YOU, not the OP, who oh by the way you might note was indeed clearly offended by your response....which FYI is what matters in this thread, but, surprise, you can't be bothered with that.

I know it's probably a wasted effort, but one more time: this thread isn't about you, your beloved "ADCs" or how wonderful others think you are. Frankly I don't care. But congrats on going out of your way to point it out. rolleyes.gif Wow what an incredible need for affirmation.

As for ignoring your future posts, no worries there. Have a peaceful day blah blah blah.

As A Reminder: In the forum SPIRITUAL/RELIGIOUS BELIEFS: Beliefs and Religion (this forum):

"Grief support groups for coping with loss, online bereavement forums offering help with grief recovery issues relating to spirituality & religious beliefs."

As a further reminder, the ADMINISTRATOR/MODERATOR has these words for this forum and others as well:

"Hi everyone,

I would like to send a friendly reminder that we are all members of this community, and we need to support, uplift and encourage each other.

While you may not agree with a person's thoughts, perspectives, ideas, spirituality, or other aspects of his/her post, we need to keep our responses respectful and avoid personal attacks.

Terms of use and rules of the forums are available if anyone need them as you sign in. Let me know if you need a copy.

Respectfully,

ModKonnie"

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Hi everyone,

I've noticed there seems to be some tension in some posts and follow-up replies. Please everyone, we all are here for support and encouragement. Let's keep things positive and supportive. If you don't agree with someone, please remember to find a way to voice your opinion in a tone that is not threatening, does not attack anyone personally or their personal beliefs. Starting with something positive in your response helps set the tone.

For example,

"Your perspective is something I hadn't considered, but I will give it some thought," or "Certainly, you've made a strong point, however I have a different perspective because...."

If your response includes something negative or can be considered a personal attack on someone's beliefs, their posts, their opinions, please go back and edit. Ask yourself, "How would I feel if someone said this to me or about my opinion?"

Thanks so much. Remember, we are all here for each other.

ModKonnie

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Dear Thomas,

I'm sorry to hear about you loss,you have my deepest sympathies. I lost my dad to cancer about 5years ago . My heart goes out to you during this most grievous time. The anger that you feel is perfectly normal I felt the same way when I lost my father.

brenda scott

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