• Announcements

    • ModKonnie

      Changes   03/08/2016

      HI everybody, I'm sure by now you have all figured out we have some changes on the forums. These were due to the security of the forums; we try very hard to keep spam off the forums but it occasionally get through and causes problems. The new updates should help with this kind of problem.  I'm sure you've browsed and figured out that the posts are listed in order of the very first post to the latest. For Loss of An Adult Child, this means there are more than 2,000 pages to go through. The easiest way I've found is to click on the double arrows by the page numbers, get to the last page (it usually goes right to it for me) and then scroll down the page. You should be able to read all the posts for the day.  We are trying to see if there is a way to reverse the order. I'll let you know what we find out, and I will post more suggestions and tips as we go forward.  I want to apologize for any inconveniences and stress this update has caused. We value each and every member, and we will work to make this transition as seamless as possible.  Sincerely, ModKonnie
    • Eric

      Posting to forum should be fixed   04/18/2016

      Hello! I sincerely apologize for the recent issues with posting, a number of people reported being unable to post and receiving a white page instead of anything else. I spoke with a member of the community today and we were able to figure it out and find a fix for this. Posting should now be fixed, if you continue to have trouble please let us know!
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
abby53

Dealing with loss of only child

4 posts in this topic

Hello everyone,

My name is Abby and my son Paul was killed in a car accident on April 3, 2011. He was 27 years old and he was my only child. I have been divorced from his father for 20 years and I remarried three years ago. My husband does his best to comfort me but it doesn't help too much. My son's fiancee was injured in the car accident and was in a coma up until May 5th. She has a brain injury but understands what happened in the accident and she understands that my son died. She can't walk or talk right now and I have been visiting her daily at the hospital. It is hard for me to see her but it sort of makes me feel better that she is alive and can hopefully continue her friendship with me. Friends and relatives have told me that she end the relationship with my son's fiancee and her family and that it will make it harder for me. Does anyone think what I'm doing is right or it will help me?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello everyone,

My name is Abby and my son Paul was killed in a car accident on April 3, 2011. He was 27 years old and he was my only child. I have been divorced from his father for 20 years and I remarried three years ago. My husband does his best to comfort me but it doesn't help too much. My son's fiancee was injured in the car accident and was in a coma up until May 5th. She has a brain injury but understands what happened in the accident and she understands that my son died. She can't walk or talk right now and I have been visiting her daily at the hospital. It is hard for me to see her but it sort of makes me feel better that she is alive and can hopefully continue her friendship with me. Friends and relatives have told me that she end the relationship with my son's fiancee and her family and that it will make it harder for me. Does anyone think what I'm doing is right or it will help me?

Abby - Its hard to say 'welcome' to those who find themselves here. This is not a place we would choose to be. I am so sorry for the loss of your son Paul. You are so new to this place called grief and there is one thing that is certain, there is no right or wrong way to 'grieve'. If your being there for Paul's financee feels right 'for you' and its something that helps her and for that matter you, then while you are able, be there for her.

Things will change, they have already. But for now take it one step at a time. Its hard for our spouses to 'support us' sometimes. The phrase we all grieve in our own way is true. The depth of our grief is somehow reflective of the depth of the love we have for our children now and always.

There are many parents here that have lost a child, their only child and have been where you are now. Please come join us in "Loss of and Adult Child".

When you are able please tell us more of you son Paul, the life he lived and of course pictures are always welcome.

Again, I wish I had the words that would make this time in your life softer, but even after 4yrs I am at a loss....

Trudi ~ Micheal's mum

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Abby

I second Trudi's post. If being with your son's fiancee helps you then by all means do it. No one should tell you what is right or wrong in your heart. Only you know that.

Our 16 year old was killed in a car crash. The two other boys involved walked away. There is much more to this story, but I will not bore you with those details.

Do what is right for you. Not what anyone else says to you. Others cannot know the depth of pain that is involved with the loss of a child. Therefore, they cannot tell us how to grieve, love, or live.

Do what is right for you.

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Abby,

I am so terribly sorry for the loss of your son, Paul. If you find comfort being with your son's fiancee, then absolutely, be with her!

I too lost my only child, my son Andy, on February 11. I hope you can find some comfort here. Please join us on Loss of an Adult Child. That's where most of us seem to gather. Sending you a big hug.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0