just lost my mum

[madisoncage]

my mom died unexpectedly last Monday, 5/2, and I wasnt there with her when she died. She was my best friend, my whole life, and I never thought I'd lose her. I'm devestated and now I have to pack up my family and get rid of my house and everything we have and move in with my dad because w/out my mum he cant afford their house alone. What's worse, I only have one month to do it, and I have no other family to help me. I'm exhausted, and cant grieve properly because I'm so busy trying to move in and move out. My mum died in her house and the idea of moving into that house where she lived and died has me heartbroken. I dont know how or if I'll ever be able to get over this. I've never felt so sad in my life. I miss my mom so much I cant breathe. I would rather be dead in Heaven with my mom than be on this earth.

[EulogyAdvisor]

Dear Monica,

You have a lot of pressure on you right now, and I'm so sorry. I'm also wondering if there's any way for you to get a little relief.

It might be easier to move one person than several, especially if your children are in school. Is there a way for your Dad to stay with you rather than the other way around? And is there any way to merge the households rather than getting rid of everything you own, especially your children's things?

Also, if your mother was working (you say your dad needed her to afford the house), perhaps there is life insurance or some other money set by that can be used to help the situation long enough to give you some time to plan rather than react. Perhaps it would be helpful for you and your Dad to sit down and go over things. It will be terribly hard, I know, but it might be better to try to make a few decisions together that will benefit the family as a whole in the long run.

Right now your feelings are very, very powerful. I am worried that they could drive you into action that might be hard to undo later. Please give yourself time to think of yourself and your children as well as your Dad.

Losing your mother, of course, is the worst of all, and I want you to know that, even in the middle of my suggestions, I haven't forgotten how hard her unexpected death must be for you.

Loved once, loved always--

Fran

my mom died unexpectedly last Monday, 5/2, and I wasnt there with her when she died. She was my best friend, my whole life, and I never thought I'd lose her. I'm devestated and now I have to pack up my family and get rid of my house and everything we have and move in with my dad because w/out my mum he cant afford their house alone. What's worse, I only have one month to do it, and I have no other family to help me. I'm exhausted, and cant grieve properly because I'm so busy trying to move in and move out. My mum died in her house and the idea of moving into that house where she lived and died has me heartbroken. I dont know how or if I'll ever be able to get over this. I've never felt so sad in my life. I miss my mom so much I cant breathe. I would rather be dead in Heaven with my mom than be on this earth.

[ModKonnie]

my mom died unexpectedly last Monday, 5/2, and I wasnt there with her when she died. She was my best friend, my whole life, and I never thought I'd lose her. I'm devestated and now I have to pack up my family and get rid of my house and everything we have and move in with my dad because w/out my mum he cant afford their house alone. What's worse, I only have one month to do it, and I have no other family to help me. I'm exhausted, and cant grieve properly because I'm so busy trying to move in and move out. My mum died in her house and the idea of moving into that house where she lived and died has me heartbroken. I dont know how or if I'll ever be able to get over this. I've never felt so sad in my life. I miss my mom so much I cant breathe. I would rather be dead in Heaven with my mom than be on this earth.

Monica,

I am very sorry about the loss of your mother. Fran does offer a good suggestion about moving your father instead of your family--is that possible? Also, why do you only have a month? Is it financial? Would your father's bank be willing to work with him? Refinance perhaps? Would he benefit from a financial counselor?

I know this feels almost impossible, but you will be able to work through this. I can understand why you don't want to move in with your father. Have you discussed all of this with him? Is there any way at all to slow all of this down?

Once, again. I am so sorry about your mother. You will have to tell us her story when you are able.

ModKonnie