Lost the love of my life/soul mate I'm only 27

[Annamaengo]

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to reach out to a community of people lost in the stages of grieving. I lost my Michael last year to an overdose, he had a very serious addiction to opiates and I couldn't save him that dreadful day. I came home to him on the floor, with a needle next to his arm. I thought I could save him, like I did back in march. We got an extra 4 months together when I saved him last year. This time he was already gone. I am still suffering from this intense trauma, and the grief is something I've never known to be so terrible and hopeless. I have been suffering from this pain since the day he died, and I can't seem to get out of this pain. I miss him so much, he was my life partner, going to be, and I'm having to grieve a life that was just starting out together. He told me we'd get married and he was going to get me a ring, I just was so happy I had finally met "the one" ... just to lose him 5 1/2 months later? I don't understand why God did this? Why did he have to go so young, only 42? I just wish I had more time with him. I can't fathom how I'm going to live my life alone now, if i'll ever find someone as loving and real and true as Michael was to me... so very painful to lose the one person who loved you with their whole soul and you loved them the same. 

 

Any and all help is appreciated for how to cope with this tragic loss.

 

[Lisaislost]

So sorry for you loss. Have you tried a grief counselor?  Perhaps in your area you can find a grief group. It definitely helps to talk to others who you can relate to. We have all been in your shoes and living a life we never thought we would. Every day is a challenge. Keep checking in and sharing. There’s a lot of great advice on here and everyone is so kind. 

Sending prayers! 

[Annamaengo]

thank you Lisa, it helps to talk about it, makes it feel like I'm less alone in this pain.

[KayC]

Annamaengo,

I am so sorry for your loss.  I don't see it so much that God did this as it is something that happened.  God's there with you even when you don't realize it.  It's natural to ask "Why", it's human, I just never heard any resounding answer, I guess maybe I wouldn't get it even if I did get an answer, we're such finite creatures with limited understanding here.

I'm glad you got the extra four months.  My husband died of a heart attack...six months before he'd had a heart attack causing him to total his car, the airbag going off restarted his heart, which gave him another six months.  We didn't know about it until the weekend he died when the heart surgeon explained it to us, we'd thought he passed out from Diabetes.  I am grateful I got that extra six months though.  It's hard when we don't expect this.