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Jannykakaka

Nope coping with loss of my Father

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Hi. I've came on a forum to see if anyone can help me with my grief.

I lost my father unexpectedly on fathers day last year. I was hugely close to him and I thought I was coping ok. But I'm not. I'm losing my partner whom I met a month after he died. I keep pushing him away basically. I'm feeling anger, hurt and just irritated by him. He doesn't seem to be doing anything right but I know it's down to me. I'm feeling anxious and sad and I just know I'm being irrational with my thoughts. 

I miss my father so much. I feel like I see him sometimes and it just feels like I'm very very alone. 

I have a 3 year old daughter who he met before he died but it kills me to see her growing and he can't see her. 

Anyway the long and short of it is, is that I feel like I'm isolating myself and I'm getting worse. I've already lost a close friend due to my behaviour and now I feel like my partner is going to end the relationship now. 

I just want to talk to someone. I feel like such a burden onto people so talking on a forum i feel might help? 

Anyway it would be nice to hear from someone. 

Thank you. 

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I am so sorry for your loss.  I just joined this forum, so not sure what one should say or do.  So, I will just speak from the heart.  I think that this is a great space that will help you.  I have found that it helps so much to have a place to express yourself and speak to others who have felt your pain.  I recently lost my mom and then lost my dad less than a year later at fairly young ages.  No one seems to quite understand except those who have been through it.

One of the things that my dad used to say after my mom passed is that without the love, there wouldn't be this level of pain.  The pain and feelings will continue.  Hopefully your fiends and partner will understand what you are going thru.  Definitely, get out. I know its tough.  Focus on your daughter.  Don't feel that you are a burden on anyone.  This is normal.  It takes a lot of time to comes to gripes with all of this.  It is a lot.  Take your time.  I still have bad days but as time passes, there are more good days than bad.

 

 

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Dear Janny,

I'm so sorry for your pain and sorrow. I know its really hard. Please know we are all here to listen and support each other. During my own grief journey, I have tried the following things and found the following websites helpful.

What's Your Grief

The Grief Healing Blog

Grief in Common

Grief Share

The Grief Recovery Method.

If you want to maybe consider talking to a grief counsellor or joining a support group. Others have suggested yoga, meditation, art classes, journaling, reading, exercise classes.

Thinking of you.  Sending all my thoughts and prayers.

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Hello Jannykakaka ,

I want to personally express my sympathy over the loss of your dearly beloved Father. I also lost my father and it was difficult growing up without him in my life. 

I just wanted to assure you that all these feelings of sadness and anger are really a normal part of the grieving process. The pushing away of those whom you are close to is also normal because they might not understand the affect that death has on us , how could they if they haven’t had an experience like this themselves ? 

I would like to offer an invitation to stay in contact with me off of this forum so that you feel more at liberty to express your feelings. I can provide my email address if that suits you . 

I also am sending a link to a brochure that I supply to our local funeral homes about how to cope with the death of out loved ones. There is no charge or obligations involved . 

https://www.jw.org/finder?wtlocale=E&pub=we&srcid=share

With Deepest Condolences,

Frances Koonce

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