My brother died of a devestating stroke at 33

[poitin]

My 33 year old brother died three months ago of a devestating stroke. He was in a coma for four days. We and the doctors dont know the cause of the stroke as he was very healthy. They said it could have been cause by minor whiplash .. it was completely out of the blue and there seems to have been no reason for it. There will now be an inquest to try to determine the cause of his stroke.

has anyone experienced the same tragedy? our family are finding it very hard to comprehend and believe that this has happened. the doctors in the intensive care unit were close to tears as they were as baffled and we were and felt usless that there was nothing they could do.

my brother did go to the doctor the previous evening when he was dizzy and could not see himself in the mirror but the doctor misdiagnosed him and gave him tablets for vertigo and sent him home .. he fell into a coma the next morning.

has this happened to anyone else?

[jasmin]

I too lost my brother on May 19 to a devastation stroke...he was 62 and was a retired Police Chief...he was divorced and lived alone and its believed that he lay there dead for 2 days until his son found him..I miss him terribly and with also losing my sister last January and both of my parents a few years ago my loss is beyond words. Please share with me in an email if you'd like to. Today is Christmas Eve.

[jasmin]

I almost forgot...my email address is jasmin00012001@yahoo.com

GOD BLESS

[jasmin]

A Poem for My Brother Donnie

On this very solemn Christmas..My thoughts linger on yesterday

of all the times when we were little..of all we shared not long away

I remember long past Christmas's when we'd sneak down the stairs to see

what wonders Santa had left for us beneath that Christmas tree.

Each footstep on the creeky stairs we had to take in quiet

for to wake up Mom and Dad at 2 am would surely cause a riot.

Then as we grew into our teens and you found girls were great

I watched you comb your hair just right for a special date.

You'd yell at me "Dont look at me" and treat me like a kid

but thru it all I always knew..Love me was what you did.

Now Mom and Dad are gone and sister June is too

and yet thru all this I never thought the next Id lose was YOU

My heart cries out this Christmas for I lost you not long ago

and how I'll manage to make it thru to be honest I just dont know.

So brother know I love you and I miss you more each day

and oneday we'll all meet again on the road called Heavens Highway.

With Loving Memories

Your Sister, Sandy

jasmin00012001@yahoo.com

[rememberingbev]

Hi Jasmin:

I have recently joined this site and I am so so glad to have finally found a place where I can be honest---ironic that I find this site where we share with people we have never met, and from what I have read on several posts, many others had the same problem I have of not getting the understanding and support from people we called friends.  Like you,  I've lost 3 people in my family in just a few years, and just 2 weeks ago, I was told that my first cousin (our families had always been close) has been in a coma, and has extreme brain damage and blindness.  They will probably take her off life support soon.   My mother had also been on life support before she died.  My cousin has 4 kids, the youngest two are 10 and 4.  She is just 42.  I cannot believe it.  I wish I could do something.  I call and I email and I feel helpless.  I was always taught to be a good friend, and I never imagined that people I've known for 30 years would disappear when I needed their support the most.  I just don't understand this behavior---most of us have trouble knowing what to say, but decent people realize that just being there is the important thing---it says "I love you and I care that you are in pain".  I have been grieving alone for 4 years, and I wish I had found this site earlier.  I wish for the best for you, and hope you are able to find things each day which help you with those hard moments.  I am trying to write in a journal, and I love reading.  I hug my pillow more each day, and it actually helps.  Here is an email address if you would like to write:  ownbooks@yahoo.com  Take care

 

[mazza4008]

Hi There,

I was reading your story and my brother died very similiar. Words cannot explain the pain of losing someone without being able to say goodbye. I know some time has passed did u happen to find out what caused the stroke and why the doctor didn't pick issues with your brothers heart when he went to see him. I hope I am not asking personal stuff and u dont have to answer if it brings up issues. My Brother's:( death has devastated me in a way that I could never have imagined he was my best friend and I am trying to find answers I hope u have. Take care.

[bernieboo]

Hi there. I just wanted to say that I lost my sister to a stroke on July. It came out of the blue. It happened 2.30pm on Saturday and she was taken off life support 19.34 on Sunday. It still seems like a cruel joke. It still seems unbelieveable. Has this been the worst time ever? Without a doubt. Have I ever felt such pain? Never - and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. The horrible facts we have to live with are that we never had time to say goodbye, we will never truly know what caused it and most of all, we will never know if she suffered. She was 42 and she left 3 boys. I wish you peace and comfort. You are definitely not alone in this kind of situation. xx

[poitin]

Hi

Well its been over a year now and my brother's inquest is this Wednesday, 12th November.  He suffered a massive stroke during the night of August 18th 2007 - Its been very confusing trying to sit myself down and tell myself that he has died .. its not sinking in, im not getting the picture. It doesnt make any sense to me and I wonder will or does the shock and complete disbelief ever go away? i look at my pictures of the two of us and i just cant go there. i think i am not allowing myself to believe it .. but i suppose i must if i am to get through it .. im too frightened to let it in because i feel it is too much to fit in my head and it will drive me insane. i guess i am just frightened. im scared that one day it will all just suddenly hit me and i've been waiting for that day for over a year now, sometimes it does hit me and i get so tired that i need to lie down quietly and my stomach feels like it has been punched but most of the time .. i cant accept it so that, strangely, makes it easier to deal with. does anyone know if there is a time when i will be able to understand and talk about it? i hate being in this confused state about it. im so sorry that the rest of you have lost someone or more than one person in your life - this poem i carry in my wallet with my brothers picture - something about this poem makes me feel better .. somehow .. i hope it brings something to you .. a small bit of peace.

Do not stand at my grave and weep;I am not there. I do not sleep.I am a thousand winds that blow.I am the diamond glints on snow.I am the sunlight on ripened grain.I am the gentle autumn rain.When you awaken in the morning's hushI am the swift uplifting rushOf quiet birds in circled flight.I am the soft stars that shine at night.Do not stand at my grave and cry;I am not there. I did not die.

[diane1234]

Do not stand at my grave and weep;I am not there. I do not sleep.I am a thousand winds that blow.I am the diamond glints on snow.I am the sunlight on ripened grain.I am the gentle autumn rain.When you awaken in the morning's hushI am the swift uplifting rushOf quiet birds in circled flight.I am the soft stars that shine at night.Do not stand at my grave and cry;I am not there. I did not die.

Poitin,what a lovely poem in honor of your brother!. I read it long ago in grammar school & didn't get it; now that I've lost my beloved older brother Harvey-those words talk to my heart as well. I wish you luck @ the inquest. My family never did one on my Brother who passed away unexpectly 2 yrs ago due to a surgery that went horribly wrong(that's what other doctors told my family, off the record). The shock & disbelief does pass eventually.It took me about 6 months to really begin to allow myself to start grieving for Harvey(I was in disbelief and denial for awhile). I had the support of some wonderful gals on the loss of Sibling thread, who had lost their brother & sons. I was able to make it to this point of acceptance of Harv's death,one day @ a time.My turning point happened in the spring when I had to experience a new season w/out my brother. I went and saw the Cherry Blossoms in DC that year(he soooooo loved DC in the Spring). I saw that the season move on regardless and I could HONOR my brother's memories by doing what he loved & seeing it @ times thru his eyes. I also honored him thru doing a website I made for him too. Somewhere on the loss of sibling thread I put the link(you have to scroll thru the posts). I feel now,after 2 years, that I'll never know why G-d wanted Harvey first . I do know that he is w/ the G-d of my understanding(that took me a year to really GET after I let go of alot of anger @ the doctors).

I miss him EVERY day still .Now I can smile @ his memory & laugh at some of the things he did in life and is probably now doing in  Heaven. Like your poem , I rejoice in his life..not in his death.

Blessings,

Diane

[mazza4008]

Hi There,

I understand the pain, how can someone who has so much life to live die. People try and understand but only the immediate loved ones really can feel that ache that eates away at you any moment that your mind reflects that awful day when your brother went away. I hope the inquest will give you some peace and answers that you hope for. Take care

Mazza

[mazza4008]

Hi There,

I understand the pain, how can someone who has so much life to live die. People try and understand but only the immediate loved ones really can feel that ache that eates away at you any moment that your mind reflects that awful day when your brother went away. I hope the inquest will give you some peace and answers that you hope for. Take care

Mazza

[mazza4008]

Hi There,

I understand the pain, how can someone who has so much life to live die. People try and understand but only the immediate loved ones really can feel that ache that eates away at you any moment that your mind reflects that awful day when your brother went away. I hope the inquest will give you some peace and answers that you hope for. Take care

Mazza

[poitin]

Hi

I know, nobody else really understands that pure feeling in the pit of your stomach and in the heart of your heart .. it really draws me down sometimes.

The inquest was difficult.  Let me put it out there and tell you what happened.

My brother went to see a doctor on that Saturday evening at 6pm, she checked him over and gave him tablets for Vertigo, told him to go home to bed and told him to wait for 12 - 24 hours, the tablets would kick in and he would be better ....

his friend brought him home, he went to bed and he had a massive stroke ...

what is anyone's opinion of the doctor's decision?

we have seen her medical notes from when he visited her .. she did a routine check but surely, shouldn't she have noticed something was very wrong and sent him to A&E .. he was left all night alone until someone checked him the next morning and called an ambulance ..

our inquest has been adjourned as we have the pathologist coming but we are thinking of requesting that the doctor come too ..

its all too much to imagine sometimes that someone could go to a doctor, and be sent home .. if he had gone to hospital straight away the possibility of survival were extremely high ..

.....

[mazza4008]

I hope you all as a family are suppoprting each other through the inquest. Emotions and feelings are bought back and the awful feeling that what if. I wish I could answer similiar questions to why concerning my brother. The answers I hope you will find at the end of this but just remember you need to know what happened to him Take care .

Mazza.