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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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elizabethgc

How it feels

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My best friend killed herself during freshman year. I felt this hole in my stomach and body and heart, almost like the feeling you get when you know you messed up but x100000. It's a severe pain. A crippling pain. It's crazy when you have your person. Your person. The person that you could always count on. The person that comforted you about random sadness, hung out with you every weekend. This pain creates a whole new perspective you learn more about people and their quirks. You also realize that no one will every replace your best friend. How are you supposed to be yourself when a person that shaped you is gone. Humans need companionship and she made me feel complete. I was content. Why, why couldn't she wake up. She always managed to get out of situations and bounce back. Why couldn't she when I needed her the most. I never held hands with my best friend and when she's lying on the breathing machine that is all I could do. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts like nothing else. Why. I feel comfort in complete darkness. or just lying on the ground. Maybe if I stay there looking long enough I'll see her someday. Im ready for someone to just tell me this was all a joke. Whats the universe supposed to do without her presence. I keep moving but waiting.

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Dear Elizabeth,

I am so sorry for your devastating loss. I know the pain and sorrow is unbearable. It is an imaginable that something like that could have happened.

Please try and surround yourself with loving friends and family during this difficult time. Maybe consider talking to grief counsellor or joining a support group.

Thinking of you. Sending you love and hugs.

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