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We put our cat down yesterday

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Spoki (named after Star trek character Spock) was found on the streets 4 and half years ago. My dad took him home and I spent 2 hours cleaning him from bugs and dirt. He was beautiful white/caramel colour, the first cat I ever saw coloured like that.

He was such a good cat, he would never intentionally scratch you or bite you. Even if you tried to provoke him he would just leave.


He loved playing with laser and his friend Miki, our other cat. He loooved eating, he was a little fatso. Whenever he would hear opening of a chicken wrap or greek yoghurt he would come running and meowed until you'd give him something.

He was a bit of a scaredy cat, you couldn't put your head near his. But he loooved cuddling and he would cuddle and purr all the time. I loved putting him on his back in my lap and he would purr and squeeze his little paws. 

Around 10 days ago we noticed he doesn't want to play anymore. He would just sleep, started eating less. We took him to the vet and he told us he could hear heart murmur and to go check him to another vet. They told us his heart was ok but he looked like he had heavy anemia and to draw his blood. We thought well f*** anemia you can keep it under control with iron and all that you know? But blood test results told us he had leukemia. His health was slowly deteriorating even with better food, peaceful enviroment and IV every day for 4 days.

Yesterday I cuddled him for a bit but then he got excited and wanted to hide under the bed. We didn't let him and he started having a seizure, wailing and crying and trying to take a breath. He just layed there and breathed heavily. We took him to the vet and made the hardest decision of our lives. Poor love couldn't even breath anymore because of anemia, he would just suffocate to death and we didn't want him to die painfully. 


Vet gave him anesthesia and his little head just dropped in two seconds. It was obvious he was ready to go and that he suffered a lot.

I was holding him in my lap all the way to the place where we buried him. It was like he was sleeping.

It hurts so much. He was with us for only 4 short years and I don't know how I will be able to cope. Everywhere I look around the apartment I only see him, where he slept and climbed and played and sat. He was a part of the family. Miki, the other cat is searching for him around. We let him sniff him one last time so he could have closure. 


Sorry for the long post I just needed to let it all out. My parents and I are all devastated and on calming pills. It's so hard.





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Hi @Lana993, omg he is so so cute. Reminds me of mine a bit. I lost my cat very suddenly 5 months ago. Four years is short but you obviously developed such a wonderful bond with him - he's so sweet I can tell in all the photos.

And I am very sorry you had such a heartbreaking end. Thank God you were there to take him in and his suffering quickly and be there for him.  

The first few days of loss (at least for me) were awful. I was in such shock. I am guessing you are as well. Your brain literally has to adjust to his absence. You lose having him with you and all the rituals you did with and for him. It is life changing and it takes a bit to settle in. That is sadly, just how this grieving process works. There is no easy accept through. And because you loved him so much it is that much more difficult.

I wish I could offer you more. We all understand here how much pain you are in, and I hope it helped to share a little of your story. Be patient, I promise it does get better but it takes some time. Give extra cuddles to your other cat.  

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@Lana993 I am so sorry for your loss, your cat is beautiful.  I love his color.  It's the hardest thing in the world to lose your pet, they're part of the family and we grieve them as such.  You did the kindest thing for him, placing his needs over your own desire to keep him with you.  

I totally believe we will be with them again...the body dies but the spirit continues.  We are energy and it doesn't die.  I hope this video brings you thoughts of comfort and peace.


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Oh i am so sorry you had to have this experience.  It is so so awful and heartbreaking.  What a beautiful kitty.  Lots of hugs to you and your family.  I wish I could offer you some more support sweetie, I just lost mine too and I guess I am just not in a good enough place yet.  But my heart goes out to you for the loss of that precious kitty.

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Thank you all for your kind words @AJWCat @MyMocha @KayC. You have no idea how much it means to me and my family. @KayC we wached the video and cried, but it made it a bit easier. Thank you. I hope you all will feel better soon, at least a little bit. We are all in this together. 

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