Deathly afraid

[Jerri]

Hello, 

I suddenly lost my dad 03-11-16. He was my roommate, my friend and the person I looked up to my entire life. I feel like I’m finally feeling better after his passing. Not the same, not even close, but I feel myself being able to be happy more often. However, I am visiting my mom for the holidays and I feel like I’m going to have a panic attack at the thought of losing her too. She isn’t healthy from smoking most of her life, but there is no imminent threat right now. But I feel myself not breathing because I know I’ll lose her at some point like I did my dad. This feeling happens all the time. What if I lose my husband? My dog? How do I calm myself down and stop being so paranoid about losing the people I love?

[reader]

Dear Jerri,

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your dad. I know its hard. Grief takes a toll. Its a natural to think what else is going to happen?

Maybe consider talking to a grief counsellor or a joining a support group. I also find reading these websites helpful.

What's Your Grief

The Grief Healing Blog

Grief in Common

Grief Share

The Grief Recovery Method.

It takes a lot time but when I told my friends about my recurring thoughts of loss. I received the following suggestions, I know its not easy but try to do what you can.

1. To replace any negative thoughts with a positive one.
2. Distraction - read, watch TV, or write in a journal
3. Meditation
4. Yoga
5. Arts and crafts
6. Talk therapy

I'm starting to think no matter our age, we have to accept that unexpected loss is a part of life. I want to believe loss only happens to other people but sadly it will happen to all of us at some point. Try to cherish your time with your mom, husband and dog. Take it moment by moment. I feel that is all we can do.

Thinking of you. Take care. Sending all my thoughts and prayers.