Members Esther92 Posted December 11, 2017 Members Report Share Posted December 11, 2017 Hello! I am new here. 2 days ago I lost my dog, she was hit by a car. She was 9 years old, I love her so much and I still can't believe that she is not with me anymore. I can't get up this morning and go to work, I don't care about anything. It's hard to believe that I can't go for a walk with her or say I love her... My boyfriend told me that I should move on, and I am really upset, he has never had a pet, he doesn't know how I feel. He told me I should be strong. I told him that I expected a little more sympathy, I am oversensitive, and I need more time. It seems to me that he doesn't even try to understand my pain. I can't move on just like that. I think I can allow myself to feel devastated and lonely and depressed. I will get better, just I need more than two days, however it seems to much for him. My mom told me the same. I feel guilty and selfish that I want some time to grief and be on the floor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members AJWCat Posted December 11, 2017 Members Report Share Posted December 11, 2017 Hi @Esther92, I am so so sorry about losing your dog. That is really awful. I totally understand how you feel. When we lose our pets, we lose them and all the wonderful things we do with them. All the "rituals" I call them. It is what adds joy to life. I lost my cat very suddenly and in a horrible way. It is incredibly traumatic to go through. The loss was devastating. Many people do not understand. I am sorry those around you do not. You had a very special bond and it is not so easy to just "move on." You will get better but it takes time to process the loss. You must allow yourself to grieve and cry. I don't think I ever cried for a person as much as my cat! Sorry, but true. I cried in the shower sometimes so no one would see me. My husband was also as upset but unlike me, didn't want to discuss it. So, I come here to share my feelings as it has been very hard for me to deal with. Come here if you need to share, we understand. People who come here have those deep bonds with their animals. We know how painful it is to go through. You are not alone. I wish you peace as you learn to live without your sweet dog. You will never forget the wonderful times you had together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted December 12, 2017 Moderators Report Share Posted December 12, 2017 Esther, I'm so sorry that the people in your life don't understand grief and pain. That only means that their responses are inappropriate to you, not that your grief response is inappropriate, it's not. Grief takes whatever time it takes, there's no set time, it's different for all of us, and two days isn't even time to get out of the shock, let alone process your grief. You will miss your dog forever, but eventually will learn to live with your grief, and as you begin to assimilate it into your life, it will evolve into something you can live with. Right now, though, you haven't even had time to get used to your everyday habits of interacting with her, those are gone but in your mind, they're still there, and they affront you each and every day, when it's time to get up, when it's time to feed her, when you come home, when it's walk time, it hits afresh that she's gone. If I lost my dog I would probably be a basket case! I lost my cat 1 1/2 years ago and it is still hard, although I'm getting more used to it. She used to sleep with me every night, she was very special, I've never met a cat like her. We get it, we've been through it, you won't hear us telling you to "get over it". We have to incorporate grief into our lives and learn to live with our altered lives, but we don't "get over it". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members AJWCat Posted December 12, 2017 Members Report Share Posted December 12, 2017 As usual so well said @KayC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Maria9 Posted December 13, 2017 Members Report Share Posted December 13, 2017 Esther I am truly sorry for your loss...And that it happened in such a terrible sudden way. I feel your pain and my heart goes out to you .After losing a pet the grief is huge and inconsolable . There is this gaping hole in our hearts and in our lives .Like AJWCat I have never cried over anyone like I did over my kitty, though admitting this would probably shock many people. Most people,even those with the best intentions, do not understand the bond we had, and still have, with our pets. But the love we have for them and the pain we feel after they're gone is our truth. We cannot let anyone deprive us of it, nor should we. No matter what people say we have the right to grieve our pets for as long as it takes and to honor the bond we shared. Like KayC said there is no set time for grieving, it takes as long as it takes. There is no "getting over it" ,we just learn to live with our loss and move on in this way. If no one around you understands, we do, so post here to share your feelings.You are not alone. I hope, in time, your heart will heal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Esther92 Posted December 13, 2017 Author Members Report Share Posted December 13, 2017 Hi everyone, Thank you so much for your messages! I helps me a lot that I am not alone. I cry every day, and when I think of my dog, I feel like the air comes out of my lungs, I can hardly breath and I feel I would like to scream as loud as I can, because I feel so much anger and sadness. I am angry for the whole world. Today I cried less, but I still can't accept it. It doesn't feel right that she is not here, and it's crazy that life goes on, the Earth is still turn, nights and days come and go...Denial, anger, depression...I hope that the last phase of grief will come, and I can accept her loss. But not now. Thank you for your understanding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Maria9 Posted December 13, 2017 Members Report Share Posted December 13, 2017 5 minutes ago, Esther92 said: It doesn't feel right that she is not here, and it's crazy that life goes on, the Earth is still turn, nights and days come and go Oh I can relate so much to this feeling...Our world was shattered but life around us just goes on....Grief means going through several feelings, all very strong. It will take a while, try to take care of yourself and take it one day at a time. And....scream if you can, cry and howl and let it all out. The pain has to go somewhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JackieJr07 Posted December 14, 2017 Members Report Share Posted December 14, 2017 I’m so sorry for your loss Esther a lot of people don’t understand how much it hurts us paw mommies when we lose our dogs . I know how you feel and I understand your pain . Just know it is okay to mourn the loss of your dog it is okay to cry and it is okay to want some time for yourself . They become a big part of your life they’re not just pets they’re family ! I hope and pray that you get through this and know that we are always here for you to listen and talk about the situation . I too lost my dog he had cancer and started to spread to his body and affected his breathing I had to put him down and it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do I had him since I was 17 I’m now 27 it was a short lived time with him it’s only been a month and I’m still mourning him . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members AJWCat Posted December 14, 2017 Members Report Share Posted December 14, 2017 Esther I felt exactly like you. I could not accept it. The world - my world at least - was not right. Emotional pain is so hard to explain, it is emotional and yet can literally feel like your heart is just going to burst from anger and sadness. You will slowly get through it because you just learn to accept it because the days pass. It's weird. You fight against it, you want it to be untrue, you hate that is true and you can't change it and then you settle in... the sadness, the loss is there but you learn to deal. I know how this is for you, I am so sorry... you are not alone, be well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted December 14, 2017 Moderators Report Share Posted December 14, 2017 I remember when my husband died feeling that same way...how can the sun keep on shining? People going by, busy with their lives, when my life was just shattered! I will feel the same way when my dog goes because he is my world, my everything. I've had many dogs and cats over the years and suffered many losses, but I think this one will be the hardest pet loss, I dread it. I have learned to take one day at a time and take life events as they come. We can't stop them but neither do I want them to keep me from living life to the fullest. It's hard to do in those early throes of grief, it's hard at best. I'm still missing my Miss Mocha, the last animal I lost, my cat. She was the one that I used to sleep with so every night is still a reminder... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Maria9 Posted December 15, 2017 Members Report Share Posted December 15, 2017 17 hours ago, KayC said: how can the sun keep on shining? KayC , though I cannot imagine how it is to lose one's partner ,this sentence sums it all up for me... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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