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Beloved Peanut my rock and my soulmate gone and I hate myself

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I am having a hard time breathing as I write this. My beloved. My love of my life. My soulmate departed yesterday. I took her to the vet and had her put to sleep. I do not know how to handle the guilt. I think now I might have I acted too soon. She was 20 and had CKD and severe arthritis, but the main problem was she was so weak she was unable to walk. The very kind vet looked at her gum as said they were extremely pale...that she was severely anemic and severely dehydrated. Why didn't I go ahead with the / aggressive therapy that included blood transfusions that the vet suggested? What was I thinking??!!??  I think I was not wanting to put her through a bunch of pokes and prods and having to be admitted to the vet hospital overnight. I feel like I murdered my best friend who trusted me. Any help is greatly appreciated. I keep hoping I made the other choice and that I'll pick her up tomorrow and she'll feel so much better as I have now over the past few hours read can often happen with a blood transfusion. What did I do???!!! I hate myself and am devastated. 

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Hi, I am so so sorry for your loss. It sounds like your - cat? - was very old and it was her time. :( Please do not feel guilty!

You gave her a good life and lots of love. It is very very sad but you did the right thing so she would not suffer. All the medical interventions may have done nothing for her and certainly nothing of quality of life.

There is simply never enough time with them. Please forgive yourself. And let yourself grieve her loss.   

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I am so sorry for your loss....please don't blame yourself. You made the right decision for your friend.Like AJWCat said she was near the end and you made the loving choice to end her suffering.Even if you could have prolonged her life a little longer it would not be much of a life and she would have suffered more with all the medical treatments.

I know how much it hurts, we all do. Please be kind to yourself. Your kitty (it was a kitty?) knew how much you loved her.

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My dear, I don't know how it is that my reply is not on here, it's been a week, you must have thought no one responded, I'm so sorry!

We do what we feel is best for them, second guessing that later never helps, but is common in grief.  We always seem to feel guilt even when undeserved.  I hope these two articles are of help to you as they have been to me.  You will miss her, you will feel the pain of that, but please don't come down on yourself...you were her best friend.



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