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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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her name was Elizabeth

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I lost my mother one month and two weeks ago, 2 days before her 54th birthday. 
I just turned 27.
She was violently murdered by her ex who refused to leave her house.
We were best friends who travelled together and laughed together.

In the last 2 years, we had never had a bad day with each other.
No matter how much I strayed, I always saw her as my metaphorical candle in the darkness.
Now she's gone I feel so lost and alone.

I'm having trouble coping with the unfairness of this loss.
I haven't slept in weeks and although I sought counselling, I still feel incredibly lonely.
I've gone back to work, but nothing seems to have any meaning anymore. 

I worked as hard as I did to make her proud of me, now I can't find the motivation anymore.
If I knew conclusively there was an afterlife, I think i'd be able to move forward, but now all I want is to be with her again.

I've even started googling how to do it and I'm scared of these thoughts.

Thank you for listening.

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