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Rebecca1206

Feeling guilt

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I lost my cat, Tumbles on November 7th 2017. It will be one week tomorrow. Now that the shock has settled in, I am starting to feel guilt. For quite some time. Tumbles would throw up every now and then. I worried, but my boyfriend, who also has cats of his own, assured me he probably ate too quick or maybe change his food bc he might not like it. So I relaxed a little, and told myself if he showed other signs I will take him to the vet. Well, he didn’t. But I started to smell something weird in my bedroom. I cleaned, mopped, and eventually found cat poop and assumed maybe one of my kitties ( I have two) accidentally brought it in with them from the litter box bc it’s right outside my room. August 2017 however, I was getting ready for a wedding, and I saw Tumbles poop in my room. Because I was anxious about running late, I freaked out, but later of course hugged him to show I wasn’t mad. It was then that month that I took him to the vet only to realize he had Jaudice.

the vet prescribed medication, steroids and assured us it’s possible he could be cured. But he did end up passing away last week.

i tried everything I could, but I feel guilty for not helping him sooner. I did everything, spend so much money in the end and was by his side constantly, I’m not just regretting what I didn’t do :/

472EF544-0304-4786-81C5-FB589ED33C7A.jpeg

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Rebecca  ,guilt is one of the stages of grief, I have read many things about this.We try out different scenarios in our mind,we say "if only","what if" and we torture ourselves with what could have been because what we want is to change the outcome.Our hearts and our minds cannot accept the loss,we feel powerless, we have to rationalize it, to make sense out of it. You did everything you could for your kitty and the vet said he could be cured, so you were not late taking him .Before this you didn't know anything was wrong.Sadly, we cannot always control our pets' sicknesses, no matter how hard we fight, we may lose. And this hurts so much.Please be at peace that you tried with all your might to save him and Tumbles knew this                                                                                                                                                                                              

My own kitty died of an incurable, non-preventable illness (feline fip). Like you I tried everything I could but nothing worked.But I am still tortured sometimes by the thought that if I had caught it in the early stages it could have been reversed.Don't do this to yourself. Talking with my vet really helped me, maybe it will help you too, to put your mind to rest.            I am so sorry, I hope you find peace and healing.

 

 

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Maria9, you are right. I am seeing many posts on here about owners feeling guilt over the loss of their pet, and we do try to find a way to blame ourselves even if we did everything that made sense at the type. I am so sorry you have to feel this pain as well and I am sorry for your loss. I am sure you also did everything you could and your kitty would be thankful. Thank you so much for taking the time to reach out to me.

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Hi Rebecca. Tomorrow is week 7 since my dog died. I did everything for her, she was my fur baby soulmate. I think that guilt is a part of all of this. We keep thinking of the variables and possible alternate outcomes . You did your best to care for your baby. I've written on this forum many times about my own guilt. In syringe feeding my Yaffi the days before she died I knocked out a tooth and Im so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt her. IM trying to forgive myself every day. We aren't perfect. We do the best we can and if it all comes from love then we have to let go of guilt. This is a heart wrenching sadness and pain. We all know it. Write whenever you need to. The support on this forum is amazing. Peace to you. 

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Guilt is a part of grief, it's as if we're trying to look for a different outcome.  It's natural to feel bad that they suffered, but when we take what happened on ourselves and feel personally responsible...sometimes that is something we haven't earned or deserved.  We love them, more than anything, we gave them the best lives we could. 

These articles on grief I've found to be very helpful... 

http://media.wix.com/ugd/0dd4a5_e934e7f92d104d31bcb334d6c6d63974.pdf 

http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml

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