Members julie dawn Posted October 13, 2017 Members Report Share Posted October 13, 2017 my partner has just died he was buried on Monday when I seen him in his coffin I wanted to be with him people tells me it gets better but I lost my husband and it took me 10 years to get over him a bit to get on that is where I met my partner now he has died they say life goes on but sometimes it don't Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Djh0901kc Posted October 13, 2017 Members Report Share Posted October 13, 2017 I’m sorry for your loss. It must seem like a bad joke to lose two people like that. But at least you know that you were able to move on once. Perhaps you will be able to do it again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KMB Posted October 14, 2017 Members Report Share Posted October 14, 2017 Julie, I am so sorry! I cannot imagine falling in love twice and coping with losing each of them. Going through grieving for a life partner once is more than enough for a life time. You were blessed with an admirable strength of character, an open generous heart and the opportunity to find love again. Our hearts were designed to hold love for many people, but I don't know if there are limits to the pain and sadness of losing many people. Some people lose an entire family and I don't know how they cope and go on. Yes, life does go on, even without our involvement. It certainly didn't stop for any of us here on this forum. For us, life did stop the day our loved ones left. It is so very hard to find a way to keep going. Please, keep coming here to express your thoughts and feelings. This is a safe place and we share the commonality of losing our most precious soul mates. We are here to help each other in whatever way we can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted October 14, 2017 Moderators Report Share Posted October 14, 2017 Julie, My heart goes out to you, I'm so sorry. I have met others who have gone through this twice, we can't begin to imagine your pain, but like Djh said, I hope it encourages you that if you did it once you will make your way through it again. I know it's the last thing in the world you wanted to happen and no one relishes this, it's damn hard, the hardest thing ever. Time doesn't stop for any of us, it marches on no matter what we are going through, but for those of us left behind we are forever changed by their existence and forever changed by their absence. I hope you do some reading in this section and it helps you to know you are not alone in your feelings, we're all going through this together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Francine Posted October 17, 2017 Members Report Share Posted October 17, 2017 On 10/13/2017 at 2:18 PM, julie dawn said: my partner has just died he was buried on Monday when I seen him in his coffin I wanted to be with him people tells me it gets better but I lost my husband and it took me 10 years to get over him a bit to get on that is where I met my partner now he has died they say life goes on but sometimes it don't I am truly sorry for your loss and know your pain only too well. Wow, it's heartrending to go through this, but to go through it twice, must be pure torment. While life does go on, for us it freezes in time. There are days that I don't have the energy to participate in life anymore or want to. I literally have no motivation to save myself anymore and I haven't felt alright in a really long time. Today, I feel abandoned, ugly, hurt, like I don't matter, useless, invisible, like I don't belong, not worthy, hopeless, unappreciated, numb; when I think about it, I feel like that everyday. People will tell you that things will get better, and perhaps they may; however, I can't see that for me; my aim is for things to get to be OK and that's a win for me. Might I suggest being around family and friends. You've been through a lot and if you don't let it out, that ugly grief becomes a scream trapped inside your soul; a constant cry, a sob you can never release. So scream, shout, cry, (the way the sky does when its thundering and lightning) because you are being cleansed and its the only to way to release the pain. You are in my prayers and I ask God to grant you more than you may have wished for, bless you move than what you asked for, and give you the strength to overcome all the sufferings in your life. Stay strong and know that we are all on the journey together and someday, somehow, we will come through stronger than when we went in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KMB Posted October 18, 2017 Members Report Share Posted October 18, 2017 1 hour ago, Francine said: There are days that I don't have the energy to participate in life anymore or want to. I literally have no motivation to save myself anymore and I haven't felt alright in a really long time. Today, I feel abandoned, ugly, hurt, like I don't matter, useless, invisible, like I don't belong, not worthy, hopeless, unappreciated, numb; when I think about it, I feel like that everyday. Hang in there, Francine. You are always in my thoughts and prayers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted October 18, 2017 Moderators Report Share Posted October 18, 2017 Francine, I'm sorry you are feeling all those things. You aren't ugly, you do matter, I know how hard this is, I know what a huge adjustment it is. It doesn't happen overnight, it's oh so slow, but little by little you will adjust somewhat. It's never the same, but I think striving for "okay" is a good goal. You're in my prayers too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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