Filled with grief

[Ema]

It's day 6 since saying goodbye to my dog baby. Im nauseated and crying. I find myself questioning my own mortality..even if I ever could open my heart to another dog, am I too old?. Im 56.  How could I know I could be around for another dog?. My baby was with me 18 years. Could I take on an older dog? But that would mean inevitable heartbreak sooner. I know,  my thoughts are rambling. I am so wrenched in many layers. I miss my little friend so badly . Im not the same. 

[KayC]

To me, 56 is YOUNG.  It's rare a dog lives 18 years so I think it's safe to say you'd outlive another dog.  I was about your age when I got my dog, he's 9 1/2 now.  I can't imagine living without him, he's such good company.  I just know I'll likely always have a dog.

I do know the risk we take of loving someone, it means we could lose them and go through the heartache all over again.  But I also know that to avoid loving because of the fear of loss is to cripple ourselves and deprive ourselves of so much beauty in life.  I don't want fear to be a deterrent in my decisions, but take that risk, live life to the fullest, and if I'm faced with heartache, it is the price of the greatest gift of all, sharing love.

[AJWCat]

Your dog was with you for such a long time! Of course you are totally devastated. I am so sorry - I know how painful it is. But, you are not too old to help another dog. So many are lonely and need to be rescued. Young, old, and all in-between. Of course there is more heart-break... but I know for me, I will be rescuing another cat. I can't live without an animal, they bring so much joy. And so many are out there in shelters waiting, scared and alone.  I hate the idea of losing a cat again. But I can't be without one and maybe I can give one a good life - no matter how many years I get with them.  

[Maria9]

I am so sorry for your pain....I know how it feels. The bond we share with our pets is so deep, it is unlike anything else. I totally agree with KayC and AJWCat. You shouldn't let your fear deprive you of this divine gift , to love and be loved by another pet. Pain and grief are actually the price we pay for true and deep love,  but what would life be without it ?

[Sheila D]

Dear Ema,

I feel your pain and so sorry for your loss. I lost my angel Sunny on Oct 2 and I too have been physically, mentally and emotional ill. I cried so much the last 4 days that a welcomed calm descended on me this morning. The anxiety and nausea are returning though. I too miss my baby beyond words. He was 14 and just fine on Saturday and gone Monday. I had just landed in Vegas for a business convention when I called the hospital to check on him. They said though his vitals are stable they didn’t think he’d make it. I didn’t believe it. I sent my neighbor to be with him but he died before she arrived. It just kills me that I wasn’t there for him when he passed. Please feel free to write as often as you need. I’ll support you as best as I can. So very sorry for your irreplaceable loss.