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lambimari

I lost my baby sister

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I lost my baby sister 2 days after Christmas last year....She was making a left turn and some asshole ran his redlight and his car hit the drivers side door and she died instantly....She was only 33 years old and her 15 month old baby was in the car with her along with other family members who were in town for the holidays. Her son almost died....and everyone else was also hospitalized but she was the only one who passed....they've all recovered and I know that I should be thankful bc it could have been a lot worse but I just can't comprehend why she had to pass....

Her and I were best friends and we spent a lot of time together and ever since that day I feel like half of me died....I live in this world that just doesn't make any sense to me...It's almost been 8 months and I still wait for her to call me or come home...I just can't accept the fact that she is gone....I live in denial. I keep waking up every day and hoping that that day was just a horrible nightmare...but every day that passes, just reinforces the horrible fact that she's truly gone....Time does not heal, time just makes things worse.

My sister was only 33 and healthy and happy and she had her whole life ahead of her and I just don't understand why such a horrible thing had to happen to her. She was sweet and kind and loving and she was a nurse who loved taking care of people and helping them get better....and it's just not fair...

I'm probably a highly functional depressed person at this point. I go to work and do my job and come home and take care of my family and now her son who's mine now....I have good days but I still have really bad moments...Sometimes pictures break me or a video or just memories of us being together and laughing and having fun....This year was suppose to be fun for us. I had just started a new job in November and she had gotten a raise and we were suppose to travel and have fun...make a whole bunch of new happy memories and now.....I'm all alone...

The only thing keeping me going is her son...

I feel guilty when I cry bc i want her to rest in peace but I just miss her....I lose her all the time....you guys know what I mean...YOu lose your loved one when you want to call them and tell them about your day...or get their opinion on something...or see what they're up to ...or just want to see them and hug them....

I honestly wish I could trade places with her so she could be here with her baby....It's not fair...

 

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Dear lambibari,

I'm very sorry for your pain and sorrow. It is extremely hard to process what has happened and how unfair the world is. I know you are doing your best under extremely difficult circumstances.

Have you considered talking to a grief counselor? Or joining a support group? For myself, I think I have found these two websites helpful: What's Your Grief and The Grief Healing Blog.

I feel grief is a long journey. It will take our minds a long time to process what has happened. For myself, I try to move forward but part of me still goes back and longs for the past.

Thinking of you. Sending all my thoughts and prayers.

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On 8/20/2017 at 1:20 PM, reader said:

Dear lambibari,

I'm very sorry for your pain and sorrow. It is extremely hard to process what has happened and how unfair the world is. I know you are doing your best under extremely difficult circumstances.

Have you considered talking to a grief counselor? Or joining a support group? For myself, I think I have found these two websites helpful: What's Your Grief and The Grief Healing Blog.

I feel grief is a long journey. It will take our minds a long time to process what has happened. For myself, I try to move forward but part of me still goes back and longs for the past.

Thinking of you. Sending all my thoughts and prayers.

Thank you for your reply and advice.

I have actually gone to therapy and although i found my sessions somewhat helpful, I don't think they were helping me anymore than talking to my family and friends so I stopped going. I joined this group...does this count as a support group? :)I'm going to check out those blogs. Thank you :)

I have come to accept the fact that I will always grieve the loss of my baby sister until I am with her again and I,too, try to move forward but find myself longing for past memories and wishing time travel was a reality....

My thought and prayers with you as well...

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Thank you lambimari. Please know we are all here to listen and support you in anyway we can. Take care my friend.

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