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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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Jenn Lenk

My dad/best friend passed really needing help

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My dad is and was like my counselor my best friend and my dad. Me and my dad did everything together we were so close and he has taught me so much in life I would not be the person I am today if it were not for him. And he's not my biological father he is my step dad he took me in his arms at 4 years old and he has treated me better than his own so I did the same for him and now my mom my sisters and my husband put me down for it. I have always been his caregiver for the past 8 years I am a mother of 4 and married and on April 4th 2017 i took my dad to the doctor cuz he was pooping blood and the doctors told us he only had 3 months to live that was the hardest news I ever had to take it was such a low blow, I couldn't even see straight I couldn't think I couldn't function when they gave me that news a man that meant so much to me I had a time limit to spend with him it's not fair  And as I sat here and watched him day-by-day he slowly got weaker and weaker on May 11th 2017 my dad passed away in my arms he took his last breath he lived not for 3 months but he live for one month and 1 week I thought three months was a short time cut that in half. I miss him so much 2 days after my dad died my husband asked me for a divorce I feel like I'm a lost soul just wandering around I don't understand how I'm supposed to just pick myself up and move on.1103_1496528152167-1-1.thumb.jpg.8a625f093b8a6eda73caf37e51d66da0.jpg can someone help me learn how to cope with this and how to grieve it in the right ways





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Dear Jenn,

I'm very sorry for all your pain and sorrow. I know this is an extremely difficult time. I hope you can lean on friends and family for now. Moment by moment. Its all any of us can do during this very sad time.

Please know you are not alone. We are all here to listen and support you.

Thinking of you and your family. Sending all my thoughts and prayers.

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Thank you so much i just feel so lost and my family wont talk to me because he was my step dad and they said I shouldn't have been talking to him anymore once him and my mom split up but he raised me since I was four she left him five years ago so I lost all of my family I've tried to reach out and contact them again and nobody will talk to me so it's me by myself and I need to figure out how to find myself again but thank you I appreciate it

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Jenn, my condolences on the passing of your father.  I know how hard it is to lose someone who was your strength.  

As for your husband, sounds like a man who has perfect timing.  I know how that feels too, although not at the same time.

Try your best to focus on you and healing from your grief and let your husband and family do what they are going to do.  But with regards to your husband, be careful and protect yourself emotionally and financially.  Make sure to have full documentation of shared assets and bank statements, and now might be the time to close any joint bank accounts. And if possible, talk to a lawyer. You need to know your rights.  You don't need to file, but you should be prepared for what is to come.  Lawyers here will give 30 minutes consultation free.  Talk to three before picking one.  And the best advice I got during my divorce was pick a lawyer who is going to calm the situation down, not add more gas to the fire.  A lawyer who just adds more fuel will be very costly and doesn't have your best interest at heart.  

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