Members M88 Posted May 9, 2017 Members Report Share Posted May 9, 2017 Wise words KMB - jealousy or greed or weird sense of entitlement. And from what I hear, often in circumstances such as MrsVidens and my own with the bad behaviour coming from those that haven't displayed much caring or made time to visit our loved ones prior to their deaths. Hugs x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted May 9, 2017 Moderators Report Share Posted May 9, 2017 13 hours ago, annotaine said: I am so sorry to hear that you were depressed and having suicidal thoughts when you posted this. In my heart, I believe that we, as people are too good to go through things like that. I've struggled with both depression and suicidal thoughts for 22 years. I also lost my spouse-type person of 15 years. Exercise, sunshine, and organic diet always help depression, I find. As for suicidal thoughts, the only thing that ever really seems to help is finding ways to do good for others. Somehow this is the magic antidote and it always works. It gives me a sense that life is valuable when I use it to help someone, even in a small way. In fact, I can really only help in small ways right now. It makes me feel useful to be here. It brightens me on the inside, so that I have thoughts like those much less. I give you a BIG HUG and I'm so thankful you are still here today. Please private message me if you would like. : ) Thank you for those positive words that we can all use! You are a welcome addition here and I look forward to getting to know you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted May 9, 2017 Moderators Report Share Posted May 9, 2017 Mrsviden, You've read some really wonderful notes of encouragement from people here and I hope you'll take them to heart, along with your counselor and the policeman that is helping you. They are right, you know. Our self worth is not based on what others think of us, it's based on what we know to be true of ourselves, and that's what you need to realize, how worthy and good you are! Sometimes people beat us down in life and we need to rise up and fight against their tyranny and realize our own power, our own good! I look forward to seeing you begin to fully realize your own self worth. You have already shown me you are a caring person. You live to please others, now just put yourself at the top of that list! Self-care, one of the most important things we need to learn when we are suffering loss. After all, the person most likely to have cared for us is now gone so we have to be our own advocate, our own caregiver. Weed out these nasty people and surround yourself only with people that make you feel better! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mrsviden Posted May 10, 2017 Author Members Report Share Posted May 10, 2017 23 hours ago, KMB said: Mrsviden, Make yourself a priority and say to heck with all the bad people. You have gone above and beyond for undeserving people. God is saying to let go. Those people do not serve a good purpose and it is time to let them go. It doesn't matter if they are family, you do not deserve to keep being mistreated. Joe loves you and doesn't want to see you miserable. He understands and wants you to take care of yourself. Even if that means cutting ties. Sometimes we have to do the unthinkable, quit being people pleasers, in order to move forward. None of us like people being mad at us, but it is their issue that we don't need to take on. I've found out that generally when we think people are mad at us, it is usually jealousy, not anger. (HUGS) Thank you KMB, I guess it's all just lessons learned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mrsviden Posted May 10, 2017 Author Members Report Share Posted May 10, 2017 11 hours ago, KayC said: Mrsviden, You've read some really wonderful notes of encouragement from people here and I hope you'll take them to heart, along with your counselor and the policeman that is helping you. They are right, you know. Our self worth is not based on what others think of us, it's based on what we know to be true of ourselves, and that's what you need to realize, how worthy and good you are! Sometimes people beat us down in life and we need to rise up and fight against their tyranny and realize our own power, our own good! I look forward to seeing you begin to fully realize your own self worth. You have already shown me you are a caring person. You live to please others, now just put yourself at the top of that list! Self-care, one of the most important things we need to learn when we are suffering loss. After all, the person most likely to have cared for us is now gone so we have to be our own advocate, our own caregiver. Weed out these nasty people and surround yourself only with people that make you feel better! Thank you, I do appreciate all the words being said to me. I will hopefully learn to make myself a priority instead of me being at the bottom of the list and others are at the top. I miss my husband so much, even with the little things they are what I miss the most. Hope you are doing well along with KMB, M88, Meesh, Andy, and so many others who have responded. I appreciate you all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted May 10, 2017 Moderators Report Share Posted May 10, 2017 Maybe start by doing something nice for yourself today. Make yourself something you enjoy drinking, cappuccino, or something, paint your nails, buy something for yourself, take the time to watch a good movie, it's not as important WHAT you do as that you do SOMETHING just for you! It's a good thing to practice! And stand up for yourself. Don't LET people put you down. Remember, you are your own best friend! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mrsviden Posted May 10, 2017 Author Members Report Share Posted May 10, 2017 5 hours ago, KayC said: Maybe start by doing something nice for yourself today. Make yourself something you enjoy drinking, cappuccino, or something, paint your nails, buy something for yourself, take the time to watch a good movie, it's not as important WHAT you do as that you do SOMETHING just for you! It's a good thing to practice! And stand up for yourself. Don't LET people put you down. Remember, you are your own best friend! Thank you KayC, still lacking motivation just real exhausted and stressed out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members annotaine Posted May 10, 2017 Members Report Share Posted May 10, 2017 On 5/8/2017 at 10:38 PM, Mrsviden said: Thank you and I appreciate your response so much. Today is another tough day, but I'm still here. I'm living for my husband. That's why I'm still here. So glad to hear from you today... It's a tough day for me too, but we'll both get through it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members annotaine Posted May 10, 2017 Members Report Share Posted May 10, 2017 On 5/9/2017 at 11:13 AM, KayC said: Thank you for those positive words that we can all use! You are a welcome addition here and I look forward to getting to know you! back atcha ; ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KMB Posted May 10, 2017 Members Report Share Posted May 10, 2017 Mrsviden, Someday, the exhaustion and stress will ease back. Motivation will slowly return. We have a built in will for survival. Just keep doing one day at a time. Time does pass and our grieving does evolve, bit by bit. Hang in there! (HUGS) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KMB Posted May 10, 2017 Members Report Share Posted May 10, 2017 annotaine, Welcome to the forum. I hope you find what you need here in the way of comfort, encouragement, a listening ear. I am sorry for your loss. We all need to interact with others who truly understand. (HUGS) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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