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Caitlin

Loss of dad - teen

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Hi well I've never done something like this before but thought I may as well give it a go. I'm 17 years old and I lost my dad 4 months ago to cancer quite suddenly. From the moment we found out he had aggressive liver cancer, it spread rapidly and we lost him within three weeks. That was a major shock, as my father had been cleared of melanoma a year earlier and had regular check ups through out the year looking for any signs of it resurfacing, however this melanoma was undetected. I definitely think that I hid my emotions away a bit in the earlier weeks after him passing and recently my anxiety has been so high and I just have this feeling like I'm so lost and struggling to try act like a normal teen girl, being excited about things such as going away to university next year and partying, the school ball etc. I have good days with the bad, but had a major breakdown a couple months ago in which I had to quit my job as I wasn't coping well at all. I seem to be doing okay with school and all. But am struggling with this happening in my senior year. I've lost who I am and not sure when I will find myself again. My dad was usually the person who I went to for advice on anything in life and I just miss him. so. much. My mum isn't coping very well, is very grumpy a lot and seems to take it out on me and my brother. Home isn't a place where I feel comfortable anymore. I would love to help my mum as I think she needs some counselling to guide her and she's agreed she does, but hasn't gone yet.

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I am so very sorry for the loss of your dad. It's certainly never easy losing someone we love, and this sounds like the worst possible time in your life for that. I think some counseling for all of your family would definitely help. Also, talking to each other about how you feel may help, too. I'm sure everyone is grouchy, angry, scared, lost and every other emotion one can think of. It will take some time, but things will smooth out as you all figure out how to move forward. 

Is there a counselor at school you can talk to? A pastor? Anyone who will listen? Talking is truly the best way to heal. 

We will be here with you,

ModKonnie

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I lost my dad too.  I hung in there and my life got better each year that I lived it, though.  For example, afterward I got a boyfriend who treated me like a princess and stayed with me for 15 years.  I also got into activities I loved, big time.  Theatre, dance, running, yoga, skateboarding outside with friends in the sunshine, finding cheap ways to travel to other countries... If you hang in there, your life will be amazing.  I promise!!!!!!  All LOVE and take the best care!  OXOXO  

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Dear Caitlin,

I'm very sorry for your pain and sorrow. Losing a parent is one of the hardest moments in life. Its a terrible shock. My mind is still racing 7 months after my dad's passing. Please try to forgive your mum. I know its very hard.  I hope with more time, your mum will give counselling a try. There are also support groups she could join. May I suggest the following websites that might help, one is called What's Your Grief and the other is The Grief Healing Blog.

Please know you are not alone in your thoughts and feelings. Its a very tough time. Try to be as kind and gentle with yourself, your brother and mother as much as you can.

Sending you and your family all my thoughts and prayers.

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