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Suicide Threats

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I am posting anywhere I can hoping for some guidance. My wife suffers from depression and extreme anxiety. It just seems to get worse and worse. I try my hardest to not aggravate her but it seems like no matter what I do, something always does. Things out of my control, like raining too much causing our yard to get muddy, or not having enough money to pay for medical care which I know she needs, etc. Today she sent me a text telling me she's sorry and she can't do it anymore. I shook me to the core but I have no idea what to do. She knows I love her. Telling her doesn't change anything. I was lucky to get a job that allows me to commute to work only twice a week so I can be home more days, but I still have to be at work on those two days. I can't watch her 24/7. But I'm afraid she'll do something when I'm gone. She seems to do better when I'm around. I'd hate to think she's just crying for attention and then she does something against her life. I don't want to lose her. 

I am going through a rollercoaster of emotions. I feel sad for her condition, I feel mad that she'd do this, I feel resentment from having to deal with this, I feel fear for obvious reasons. It's overwhelming. I don't know what to do. Everyone I talk to wants me to bring her in but I can't afford it. She refuses to talk to anyone unless it was a doctor that will prescribe her something to make her better. I don't think she knows what can help her, she thinks she does, but she won't listen to me.

I appreciate everyone's comments and prayers, but I am not here just to hear "I'm sorry and I'm praying for your wife". I apologize if that sounded rude. But I am only interested in real help. 


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Dear lotusms,

I hear your concern for your wife and needing real help. It is serious. And you need to access the right resources. I would suggest with this website in your area:


I know what you are going through is very hard. But I hope you will access some resources in your community and consider counseling or a support group for yourself and your wife.

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Being that I suffer with severe depression and anxiety with frequent suicidal thoughts I would like to offer a kind word. Every situation is different so my words are based on personal knowledge. I had to want help before any thing would help. And medicine is not necessarily the answer. Meds helped me for awhile but did not keep me from having episodes. And I've had some meds make it 100 times worse. I've done better recently with no meds. When I get to that dark place in my mind distraction is what helps the most. Talk about anything that is not related to the issue. Just the sound of my boyfriends voice. He could sing twinkle twinkle and it would help. Ive had three hour long panick attacks where all I wanted to do was find a knife. Nothing has to happen to set me off. It just happens and I can't control it. And even worse sometimes nothing helps. Sometimes I just have to let it out. It is a hard thing to deal with. And the shame and guilt only make it worse. And I know that it is frustrating to be on the other side because I've been there as well. 

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