Members EternalFlames Posted February 11, 2017 Members Report Share Posted February 11, 2017 So I'm going crazy this weekend. Very agitated. Can't calm down. I was wondering if anyone else here is as well? This is the first Feb without my wife. Our anniversary was also around this time of year. This has been really hard. I have found I don't have any friends to talk to, they're all too busy off living their lives and being with their loved ones and starting their own families. I have tried to reach our for counselling supports and have turned up squat. I think I will just rot here alone talking to the walls curled up in a ball wincing in pain. I wanted to know if any of you are experiencing the same thing this week, the immense loneliness and sorrow, bittersweet memories of times past, obsessive thoughts and longing. What are you doing about it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members fzald Posted February 11, 2017 Members Report Share Posted February 11, 2017 Eternal, I know exactly how you feel. I have only been in this horrible reality for less than a month. I have not coped well so far. I have taken days off from work, spent hours crying and shaking and just wishing I was dead, and every single morning is pure agonizing torture. I sometimes find myself disappointed that I woke up at all... Something I read somewhere said that, at least at first, you will not "cope" with grief. You will just feel it, and let it take its toll on you. You need to let yourself be weak, cry, all those things. Only by feeling grief and suffering through it can we start to recover... I had been with my girlfriend for 6 years. I planned to spend my life with her. All of my hopes, dreams and direction were destroyed in the space of a day. All of us on this board either are or have experienced exactly what you described. I long for my girl back, even though she never can come back. Even "she would want you to..." is no comfort. All I wish is that I could be in her arms again, forever happy, living the life we were supposed to. The idea that she will never again be in my world on this planet is depressing beyond all belief... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted February 11, 2017 Moderators Report Share Posted February 11, 2017 It's been enough years for me I've gotten more used to it but that first year especially it was really hard. All of those "firsts without". We were romantic and we were in love so Valentine's Day had been a day we didn't let it slip by without professing our love for each other in a special way. It's sad how many years I've gone without flowers or anyone thinking of me...yes, we can all say we've experienced this unfortunately. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Chasisdope Posted February 12, 2017 Members Report Share Posted February 12, 2017 My wedding anniversary is this month also. We wanted it to be the same month as Valentines so that it can be extra sweet and now this. Everything still feels surreal. I keep saying to myself, this shouldn't be. It's not supposed to be like this. Makes it worst when I've always been one to fix everything that's not going right. Then when I was faced with his incurable cancer...I felt so helpless. I still ask why are we put through so much pain and still survive it. I really don't want to live just to survive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted February 12, 2017 Moderators Report Share Posted February 12, 2017 It will be more than just surviving later, I know it's hard to believe that now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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