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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie
sarah wenman

whirlwind of emotions

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Ok so when i was 19 i went throught the sudden death of my dad he died of a heart attack in his sleep in hospital i remember going to the hospital expecting to be able to talk to him but when me and my family got ter he was already dying :( my whole life turned upside down after this i had a little boy who was six months at the time and i can honestly say if he was not there god knows where i would have ended up..my dad was the family rock in every single way.. It hit us all so so bad i spirraled into a massive state of depression my family started falling apart it was soo soo hard everyday got a little bit harder but easier at the same time if that makes sence.? It toke me a long five years to except the fact i wouldn see him again and at this point i could think of him and smile.. Life started to feel somewhat normal again.. Then in august last year my beautiful mother fell sick she was in hospital for 2 short weeks in this time we found out she had stage 4 nsclc and it was to advance for treatment me and one of my siblings went up to hospital everyday day for 2weeks we watched her what the cancer did in that short space of time at the final stage me and all my siblings where in the room with are mother we never left her side it was the most heartbreaking confussing emotional situation i have ever gone tru.. One of my brother was beside he wen she toke her last breath..to be honest i did not what to be there for that anytjing but that.. The weeks following after i went absolutly mad in every way possible i was staying in my mams house after she passed away i saw her in the house as clear as say moping the floors dancing around to her fsvourite country music.. I felt her near me for a few short days and like that she was completly gone.the emotions i feel are unreal.. The angry i cannot put into words.. I feel like a ticking time bomb at any minute fit to explode.. I feel nothing only jealous when i see my partner with his parents and to be honest i feel like im pushed so far away for life i dont even care anymore.. I wake up every day feeling depressed i try so hard to smile but to me i find it hard to find things to smile about.. Im at the stage where if i see someone with there parents i feel sorry for them because i no someday they will go through this hurt and pain and finaly understand what been lost in every possible way  feels like

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Sarah,

I am very sorry about the loss of your parents. While feeling angry, jealous, depressed and all kinds of other emotions are normal, you may want to reach out to talk to a professional or join a self-help group in your area. Talking to people is the best way to heal and get through this. Let people know how you feel as you work your way through your pain. 

We will be here with you,

ModKonnie

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Herc   

Sarah,

I went through a very potent period of rage when my Grandfather passed roughly 25 years ago.  My parents had divorced when I was 5, and my mother and I moved in with my Grandparents.  He was a father to me, the man who taught me how to fish, throw a baseball, shave, everything.

On the day of his passing I went for a walk in the snow.  I worked myself into a frenzy on that walk.  I found ways to be angry at the world, at God, at my Grandfather, at my family, and at myself.  I drank deeply of these feelings, allowing them to fill what they could of the void that his passing had left.

It put me on a very troubled path.  A path filled with problems with drugs, legal issues, financial concerns.  A lonely path where I didn't want anyone's help, I no longer wanted to connect with anyone, reasoning that if I didn't connect I couldn't be hurt.

After three long years of chasing self destruction and isolation, I started to pull myself and my life back together.  It took many years to repair the damage I had done, to my psyche, my future, and my relationships with others, my family being at the top of that list.

if I had it to do over again, and if I had the capability to change how I coped with the loss, I would.  At the same time, that IS how I coped with, so maybe it is what needed to be.  I understand your anger, and each of us has to grieve in whatever manner we can.  If that is your path, I hope you get through it as quickly and painlessly as possible.

If you want to follow another path, there are options.  As ModKonnie pointed out, counselors and self-help groups are an excellent place to start.  I hope you find some comfort in this troubled time in your life and will be there to listen if you need to talk.

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reader   

Dear Sarah,

I'm so sorry for your pain and sorrow. I know it hurts. Losing our beloved fathers is one of the most terrible things any of us can go through. Please try to surround yourself with loving friends and family. Everything you are saying is normal and part of grief. I hope you can find a trusted person to talk to and work through your raw emotions. I can relate to what you are writing about. I lost my father 4 months ago. And I still cry. And wish he could still be here. Why did he have to die? I'm trying to do everything I can to keep going forward. Thinking of you. Sending you lots of hugs.

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