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I don't want to do this


HisLioness

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1 hour ago, TLW19 said:

Hello Emeliza.  My loss type is the same as yours and I too am becoming very bitter and angry and I feel so physically uncomfortable and restlessness.  My husband was a better person and would not be impressed.  How did you reach this level of inner peace, was it a progression you felt happening or something you noticed when looking back?  Regards 

I just have worked at not taking offense when none is meant (easier said than done).  Knowing how much I was loved, which means I am worthwhile to still be here.  I believe very much in the afterlife and I imagine my husband busy helping newbies up there.  When the hurricane hit in Haiti, my daughter mentioned how busy she thinks dad is and it made me smile as that is so him.  

And when I am feeling angry or bitter, I take a step back and try not to talk to people so I don't have to apologize later or worse. 

I wouldn't say I have inner peace so much yet, but I am definitely trying.  I really really want to be someone my husband would still be proud of, so I constantly try and keep that in mind.

And yes, progressive....and somedays I don't quite make it.

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TLW19 and Emeliza, We are all a work in progress. I feel it's the reason why we are here. Until we progress to the point that our life lessons have been met and we enter Heaven. I like to imagine my husband helping others from Heaven. He was helping people right into his last week here ( talking and bringing comfort to a friend who accidentally ran over his 24 year old cat). My husband and I were a family of 4 with 2 pets. He understood that pets are family and spoiled ours.Soon, a friend of ours is going to be going to Heaven. I like to think my husband is spiritually with the family and might even be waiting to greet his friend at that crossing over time. They will have a fun reunion.

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I like that you said it gets easier, not better.  And we have our ups and downs, something to keep in mind when we're having a down day.  

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