Members SunStars&Moon Posted September 29, 2015 Members Report Share Posted September 29, 2015 I don't know how to go about this but I desperately need somewhere to let out. I lost my boyfriend 9 days ago in a car accident. I feel like nothing makes sense about that accident. Part of me thinks maybe I just want someone to blame. He was driving past the speed limit and wasn't wearing a seat belt and eye witnesses say he was racing. It doesn't make sense because his never raced before. I always told him to wear a seat belt but he never listened. I really don't know what I'm thinking or even what I'm feeling. sometimes I feel so numb it's like I'm not even in my body. I still can't believe this is happening to me. I wake up in the morning praying it's a bad dream or some bad joke. when something happens, I get excited and I pick up my phone to call him and tell him about it only to realise his no longer here. I just wanna curl up in some hole and lie there or just sleep for a very long time and when I wake up, I find time has passed because everyone is telling me time heals all wounds. I'm 21 years, I lost my dad at 14 years and my mum at 19. But losing my boyfriend feels like the worst pain. He was such an amazing guy, always laughing and trying to make people happy. We were planning out a future together. He was Indian and I'm zambian, so it's been quite a rough road for us considering we have different cultures and beliefs. Our love was true and could withstand anything. I used to tell him I can take anything the world throws at me as long as his by my side and now his gone and I feel so helpless and so lost without him. I keep trying to think of anything that will help me not feel this pain anymore. The longest time I'd ever been away from him was a week and we talked constantly then. Now I'm so afraid because I don't know how I'll handle not having him around anymore, I'm really scared cause I think I won't be able to take it. I feel like by dying, his taken my life with him. everything is just a mess now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ModKonnie Posted September 29, 2015 Members Report Share Posted September 29, 2015 I am so very sorry for your loss. Of course this is all so terrible and traumatic and horrible. It's only been 9 days, so I'm sure you feel as though you are living someone else's foggy, weird, even slow motion nightmare at times. The best thing to do right now is to cry, talk, cry, talk and just get through a little at a time. Try not to think about anything longer than an hour or two at a time. Remember to eat, avoid alcohol and caffeine and get some rest if you can. Do you have any friends to lean on for support? We will be here for you, ModKonnie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SunStars&Moon Posted October 1, 2015 Author Members Report Share Posted October 1, 2015 Thank youI do have amazing family and friends and I'm grateful but I just feel like they can't understand. I can't talk to them because I feel like I'm burdening them.I'm trying to eat but I have to force myself to do it. I do get hungry but immediately the food is there, I don't want to eat it . I really don't know anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MissingYu Posted October 2, 2015 Members Report Share Posted October 2, 2015 I am so sorry to hear about your lose. I, too have lost my partner 4 months ago and I was in the exact state that you are in now. I am Filipino and partner is Korean so our cultures and beliefs are really different. Crying is the best thing to do now. Spending time with your closest friends and family can help too. Do not be alone. Talking to your family and friends can help you alot. Never think that you are burdening them. They will surely understand. HUgs and prayers for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lilgiraffe Posted October 2, 2015 Members Report Share Posted October 2, 2015 I am Chinese and I lost my German boyfriend 3 days ago in a motorcycle accident. The accident happened on sept.11, and he passed away sept. 29. I also lost my father when I was 24, so our experience was quite similar. We loved each other so much and until now I can't accept the fact that he is gone. I keep speaking to him and wrote to him as if he is still alive. I believe he is on a vacation somewhere and he will be back in a while. The pain is so deep, so real, and I feel a hole in my heart that nothing can mend. He died and he took a big part of me away with him. Now all I have left of him are the memories we shared together. He was the only man that I have ever truly loved. I don't understand why this happened to him. Believe me, you are not alone. I'm feeling so lonely, so helpless. I don't know the meaning of my life anymore. Let's stay strong and look forward. I believe time will heal the pain, but I'm not sure how long it would take. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lololynette Posted December 28, 2015 Members Report Share Posted December 28, 2015 I too shar the sudden loss of my fiancé to a motorcycle accident. The pain I've been told does not ever fully go away but becomes more manageable. I was glad someone was honest with me as no one around me understands my loss of everything. The pain consums me. I just want him back I see everyday with him as my life was not what it is. I think about him constantly and my health is now failing as well. The heart failure symptoms and chest pains are becoming worse and I really pray for death. I feel like ear this hell given everyone's loss and suffering. So much bad in the world and the good people keep getting taken from us. I feel pain for everyone on here suffering and though we are not alone on here we are alone in our lives living day by day as they suggest us to though it isn't helping. I want the life I had not this crap life I've been given two days before Thanksgiving Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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