Get into Group Therapy for Grieving, if you can...

[RememberingJoAnn]

One thing that helped me, and believe me, ANY help, a little help, can take some stress and grief and emotional distress away from you....even if it's temporary.....after JoAnn passed away, I was so lost that I ended up in Emergency on the third day....and they set me up with a therapist....I saw the therapist, and she was very clinical and somewhat aloof, not very personable....and she said, well, you'll probably go through your mourning for about a month and then you'll start to get better....how wrong she was, and how utterly foolish....I guess seeing a professional might work, one-on-one, if you find someone that can really help you on a personal level, but that can be difficult, in my opinion....so instead I got into group therapy for people who had lost loved ones....this really was help for me....because you're not alone....and the same people show up at the sessions, you can see and hear in their voice how things are progressing....and you can ask questions of the other members, and their answers can help you cope better....they are going through the same thing as you are....some of them not so bad...but many of them worse....there is a therapist there as well for the group, but they are there really only as a moderator....sometimes during the session, even when there are 20 people there, people will openly cry....will sob....there are moments of silence....of respect....of comfort....it does help....I know this sounds trite, maybe, but misery shared can somehow lift your spirits because it means that you are NOT alone in this.....even with strangers....and, of course, if you go each session, the strangers become friends....

One last thing on going to these sessions....it gives you something to do, other than the terrible feelings you are experiencing...any POSITIVE distraction is good for you....and gets you out of your home and out of your emotional cocoon and space....you need new experiences....and when you park your car close to where your session is, you get to walk from your car to the building, and that gives you some exercise, some fresh air, and breathing in fresh air is very important when you are feeling so desperate.....IMPORTANT:::::Sometimes we are in so much distress that we cannot safely drive our car....anywhere....so find a friend or neighbor or member of your family to take you....have a taxi pick you up and take you....if you have any doubts about driving safely....please....

And so, please, try to find a group near you....if you have insurance, maybe your provider can assist you with locating a group in your area...you really should let go a little and allow others to help with what you are going through....

One last thing....if you belong to Facebook, there are Grieving Groups online that you can join and share your experiences as well....getting as much help from others, anywhere you can get it, like this forum here, is a blessing....when you have lost someone, you can feel so alone in your despair and grief....but you don't have to be alone in this, and you shouldn't be.....

[ModKonnie]

Very helpful post. Thank you very much! 

 

ModKonnie