almost one year after father's suicide

[wrheh]

It has been almost one year since I found my father after he killed himself. One year yesterday was the last time that I spoke with him on the phone. He called me just to tell me how much he loved me and how proud of me he was.

Today I sit here crying replaying that phone conversation in my head. Why didn't I speak up and reply to him that he meant the WORLD to me? That he was my hero? That he has given me all of the opportunities in my life to succeed? That he is an amazing kind person? That I am proud of HIM?

That phone call happened because my dad had decided to kill himself, and he wanted me to know that he loved me and was proud of me. I wish so deeply that I had realized what that phone call meant.

I'm hurting so much, I miss him so much.