I read your posts.. I share your poems.. dad gone 2 months now

[morelans]

I read this site everyday and it seems like we are all in a similar boat, some worse than others.  I often wonder why does the world not stop after losing a parent.. why do others not realize how bad we feel or understand we need more time.   I just don't get it..  but at the same time I do.  I have had friends who have lost a parent and I did the same they are doing now.. I sent a card and I sent over food and a week later if not sooner my life was back to normal but my friends were never the same.

 

Now I am in this position and I feel like my life will never be the same..  I am sad and missing my dad but I am also scared and hurting for my mom who is now left to live by herself after 48 years of marriage.  I am really pretty lost and at my wits end on how to help my mom.  Deep down I know there is nothing I can do or say but I long for something to be able to help my mom move on without feeling guilty about it.

 

I guess I don't really have a question just to say I am mad and hurt that the world keeps going when I am barely able to concentrate on anything and nothing seems important anymore except making sure my mom is ok.. which I know she is not.

 

Thanks to you all who have posted poems.. I have shared them with my mom in the hopes it makes her feel a little better if only for a minute.

 

I am still looking for someone who would be interested in a Phone chat buddy.. my mom is 66 years old and the nights at home are horrible.  I call multiple times a day but that is not enough. 

 

Someone else in this same situation may benefit from speaking to someone else who is also going through this.  Is anyone to a point they are ready to talk to someone on the phone?  I can be reached via email at morelans AT Comcast.net     I used AT instead of @ just so I don't start getting spam emails so be sure and change AT to @ if you email me.

 

Wishing everyone here a bit of peace today...  I know I could use some.

 

Thanks

Shawn

[Ruby]

Hi Shawn.

 

Something for me that took a while to realize. 

 

My Mom and I lost the same man.. but lost a much different relationship.

 

I lost my dad, she lost her husband.  I still have my husband.  I don't yet understand the pain of that loss.  

 

This past weekend, I went out to my Mom's farm and spend the weekend with her.  July 28 was fifty years since my Mom and Dad got married.  There was no big celebration because Dad wasn't there.  But I wanted to make that weekend special for my mom.  I took a collection of photos from the 43.5 years of my parents life together and I did a slide show.  That was something that I would have done for a celebration.  She wept as she watched it and was very grateful for the gift.  

 

I realized the best gift I could give her is too keep the memories alive.  

 

I would ask this question.  Does you Mom know God? I know my Mom would be very lonely without her Constant Companion.  There are a lot of hours in the day when it is just her, the farm and God.  We can't fill up all those empty hours for our Mom's, but God can.